Scar Tissue
by CelticGrace
Summary: "She would have been as proud of who you've become as I am." AU-ish. Spoilers for all three games; story begins in ME2. FShep/Zaeed; past FShep/Kaidan. Rated M for language, violence, etc.
1. Chapter 1

_**Slight AU: Shep & Zaeed knew each other long before even the events of ME1; and one other point that will come up later :)**_

_**Many many thanks to the wondrous pixelatrix. This really wouldn't have been published without your help and encouragement!  
**_

_**Beta: None. Let me know if you are interested.**_

_**Disclaimer: Mass Effect and all characters within belong to Bioware.**_

* * *

Zaeed Massani sat in a shadowy corner booth in Afterlife, drowning in a bottle of whiskey. Cerberus' Illusive Man had contacted him a few days ago about joining a mission he was putting together. A goddamn suicide mission from the sounds of it. Zaeed might have laughed in his face and told him to go to hell, except for the exceptionally generous signing bonus, as well as a promise of help in getting revenge against Vido Santiago, Zaeed's traitorous former partner.

Zaeed had asked who was leading the mission and the Illusive Man had refused to say, only that he was confident they would work well together. The mercenary had scoffed at the man's smug attitude, as he knew he didn't play well with others, but had agreed to meet the mission leader.

He was suddenly startled from his reverie by the irritating realization that someone was watching him from just beyond his line of sight.

"State your business or fuck off," he growled, not bothering to look up.

A familiar female voice purred, "Well, well. _Someone's_ having a bad day."

Zaeed finally looked up and nearly choked on his whiskey. "Bloody hell."

Standing in front of him was the one person he never expected to see again: Commander Kate Shepard. The Alliance had declared her killed in action more than two years ago, and yet here she was, as real as ever. Or was she?

Kate smirked. "What's the matter, Massani? You look like you've seen a ghost."

The mercenary glared at her. "The hell are you playin' at, waltzing in here after two bloody long years like nothing happened? How do I even know you're, well, you?"

She scowled. "We've known each other for fifteen years and you want proof that I'm real."

"Something like that," he muttered.

"Fucking skeptical bastard," she grumbled. "Fine. What will make you believe I'm me?"

Zaeed looked at her face for a moment, studying her. He glanced down and saw the tattoo over her heart, and he knew what he had to ask. She had many other tattoos, but that one had been her first, just after they met. He knew memories could be replicated but the _feelings_ behind the memories couldn't.

"How did we meet?" he asked quietly, never taking his eyes off of her.

Her reaction was immediate. She shuddered and rubbed her fingers over the spot where she should have had electrical-burn scars on her wrists as she started to speak. "I was sixteen and..."

Zaeed grabbed her hand and pulled her down to sit on his lap. "Stop," he said gently as he wrapped his arms around her. "I don't need to hear it. If you weren't you, you wouldn't have reacted that way when I asked the question."

"That was a mean trick," Kate murmured as she punched him in the chest.

He chuckled. "Your point? Since when have I been nice, kitten?"

"Fair enough. I trust you've figured out I'm the captain of this doomed expedition?"

"Either that or you'd gone insane. I know you'd never set foot on Omega again without a damn good reason."

She shuddered again. "The Illusive Man said there's some salarian scientist that's crucial to our success. Aria said he has a clinic in the slums. Helping plague victims."

"Mordin?" Zaeed asked. "If that's who he means, he'll definitely get the job done. He's one tough sonofabitch."

"Yeah, Mordin Solus. You know him?"

"I've heard of him. His clinic is in the middle of gang territory so getting to him will be dangerous."

Kate shrugged. "Danger's my middle name."

Zaeed laughed. "It certainly _should_ be, with all the trouble you go looking for all the time."

She grinned wickedly. "I'm itching for a good firefight. Fighting mechs just isn't all that satisfying. Anyway, there's also some other guy the Illusive Man wants me to pick up, goes by the name Archangel."

Zaeed swore under his breath. "You have a fucking death wish, Jessie?"

Kate looked surprised for a moment. "How long has it been since you called me that?"

He shook his head. "I dunno. At least ten years probably." Shepard was the original (her never-used first name was Jessica), but these days, _Jessie_ usually only referred to his beloved assault rifle. "It's Omega. Brings back all the bad memories of what happened back then."

Kate nodded in agreement as she held up the half-empty bottle of whiskey. "Well, then let's go and erase those memories; make better ones. You in?"

Zaeed grinned. "Wouldn't miss it for world, kitten."


	2. Chapter 2

**Beta: None.**

**Disclaimer: Bioware owns Mass Effect and all recognized characters.**

* * *

Shepard paced impatiently outside the med-bay. Omega had screwed her over once again, but this time she wasn't the one who was hurt. No, _that_ was something she could handle. Been there, done that, got the scars; fuck, she didn't even have the scars to prove that anymore. Fucking new skin.

No, this time, Omega had tried to take Garrus away from her.

Fighting through the slums to get to Mordin Solus, who was already becoming one of Kate's favorite people, had been exhilarating. And now she was thankful she had gotten to him first. Dr. Chakwas was brilliant, of course, but having two doctors never hurts. Especially when they're trying to save someone with injuries as severe as the ones Garrus had.

Having left Lawson and Taylor grumbling on the ship, Kate and Zaeed had taken the salarian with them to "join the Blue Suns." Getting to Archangel had been a fucking walk in the park. Discovering the bane of the gangs' existence was her best friend had lifted Kate's spirits more than she ever could have dreamed. But even automatically resuming the natural rhythm she and Garrus had developed during fights back in the day hadn't helped them in that last hellish assault by the Blue Suns. Garrus had gone down after that damn airship had fired a rocket at his face. The fact that he was even still alive was a miracle. If she thought about it, that she, Zaeed and Mordin had made it back relatively uninjured was a miracle in itself.

Kate spun on her heels as the door to the med-bay slid open. Her eyes widened in surprise as a heavily bandaged Garrus slowly walked towards her.

"Hey," she said with a small smile. "Glad to see ya back on your feet. Thought for a minute there I was gonna lose you."

"You can't get rid of me that easily, Kate," Garrus said with a weak laugh. "You and Massani make it back in one piece?"

"I got a couple of scrapes and bruises but I need new scars anyway," she said with a wink. "Zaeed cleared out as soon as we got you in to the med-bay. I think he was afraid I was gonna start throwing stuff, using him for target practice."

Garrus laughed again and clutched his ribs with a grimace. "Fuck. Don't make me laugh; not right now. Please. But that does sound like you. Anyway, I'm fit for duty whenever you need me."

Kate frowned slightly at the haunted look in the turian's eyes. "You sure you're OK, Garrus?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Come by later and we'll talk."

"Alright. I'm glad you're here, Garrus. There are precious few I trust in this galaxy and I need every one of them with me in this fight."

"I'll always have your six, Kate," he said as he walked up the stairs towards the forward battery.

She smiled. "And I'll always have yours, big guy."


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: That "one other thing" that makes this AU? That would be that Admiral Hackett is Shep's father.  
Beta: None.  
Bioware is master of the universe and my soul. (Uncle Jason is a character of my own creation, obviously)**

* * *

"Fuck the Collectors," Kate muttered as she stepped off of the elevator and walked past the mess hall table where Joker, Garrus and Zaeed sat together. Miranda had tried to insist they needed to get moving to pick up the next recruit, but Kate had not so subtly told the Cerberus bitch where she could stick her insistence. The Commander had wanted to give her team, particularly Garrus, a tiny rest before the next fight. As a result, they were still docked on Omega, though she, Zaeed and Garrus couldn't wait to be anywhere else.

"What's the matter, Kate?" Joker asked.

She flopped down in a seat next to her pilot and sighed. "Got a message from the Alliance, asking me to go to Alchera."

There was a deafening silence at the table before Kate answered the question none of her companions were willing to ask. "There are still twenty members of the Normandy unaccounted for, so I'm going down there to see if I can find their dog tags to send to their families."

"Damn. That's one hell of an assignment," Zaeed said.

"And I'm going alone," Kate said firmly, looking at each of her friends in turn.

The three men nodded solemnly as she stood up again. Joker followed her into the elevator, heading back to the cockpit to set a course for the near-by Amada system.

* * *

Shepard stood in front of the memorial she'd placed by the remains of the Mako. She'd found the twenty missing tags, said a prayer for each of the dead, and asked their forgiveness. Not willing to leave just yet, she found herself thinking of a poem her uncle Jason had said at her mother's funeral (though Kate had been too young to remember it, or her mother).

Do not stand at my grave and weep,  
I am not there; I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow,  
I am the diamond glints on snow,  
I am the sun on ripened grain,  
I am the gentle autumn rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush  
I am the swift uplifting rush  
Of quiet birds in circling flight.  
I am the soft starlight at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry,  
I am not there; I did not die.

* * *

Back on the ship, Kate bypassed the CIC and her overly-chipper yeoman, heading straight up to The Loft. She needed to send a message to her father anyway, and there was no way she was doing that with Kelly watching over her shoulder.

_From: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
To: Adm. S. Hackett  
Subject: Alchera  
The memorial has been placed and the tags are on their way to Arcturus.  
Katie  
PS: Do you know what happened to my tags? I couldn't find them, though I did find my N7 helmet._

She was surprised when she received a reply not five minutes later.

_From: Adm. S. Hackett  
To: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
Subject: Thank You  
Hopefully having these tags will bring the families of these fallen heroes some closure.  
As for your tags, they are sitting on my desk here in my office. I'll send them to a friend who can get them to you.  
Dad_

* * *

_A/N: Poem written by Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Bioware owns all, etc.**

**Beta: None.**

* * *

"Goddamn Council. Goddamn Anderson!" Zaeed growled as he trailed after Shepard, who stormed past the cockpit on her way to the elevator.

"What happened?" Joker asked.

Zaeed leaned up against the wall. "Picked up that Kasumi woman and then we went to meet the Council. They all but outright branded Kate a traitor for working with Cerberus. Anderson jumped to her defense but once they were alone, he might as well have done the same thing. But everything's all better because they reinstated her SpecTRe status," he added sarcastically.

"Shit," Joker said after a moment. "And here I thought Anderson was going to be on our side."

"He's no longer the military man Kate hero-worshiped back in her early days as a Marine. He's a fucking politician now. And he's still got that slimy Udina around too. That bastard walked in the door and I don't know who was more pissed, Udina or Kate. I think we're just lucky she's not locked up in C-Sec right now for ambassadorial homicide."

"So, where _is_ Kasumi?" Joker asked, wanting to steer the conversation in a different direction as soon as possible.

Zaeed shrugged. "She could be standing right here beside me for all I know. She's a master at all that cloak-and-dagger shit."

"Oh good. Nothing I like more than having a woman sneak up on me. Bad enough that Kate does it all the fucking time. Now there's two of them? I'll never get another moment of peace."

* * *

"Just once, I'd like to get someone on this mission without having to make a run for my life in a hail of bullets," Kate said as the Normandy raced away from Purgatory. "And a little less betrayal would be nice too."

"Betrayal?" Joker asked.

"Fucking warden of the prison decided that instead of selling Jack to Cerberus, he was going to capture me and sell me to the highest bidder."

"Shit. Obviously things didn't work in his favor."

"No. Had to fight through both prisoners and guards, but we finally cornered the bastard. And got Jack out. That one's gonna be a handful. I thought _I_ hated Cerberus, but Christ, I might as well want to marry the Illusive Man compared to how much Jack hates them."

"That is _not_ an image I ever needed, Kate," Joker said with a grimace.

She chuckled. "Sorry. But at least now I'll have someone else to bitch to about Miranda. Those two together spells copious amounts of trouble."

* * *

"The next person who calls the tank-bred a 'baby' krogan gets to live with him for a week," Kate said hoarsely, massaging her throat.

"What the hell happened to you?" Garrus asked.

"I let him out of the tank."

"And?" Zaeed prompted.

"There may have been a tense moment or two while he tried to figure out who he was before he tried to kill me. But I talked him down. He's just as strong as Wrex, without the self-control."

Garrus let out a bark of laughter. "Wrex? Self-control? Do you not remember Virmire?"

"Wrex is still alive, isn't he? Because he had the sense to listen to me and the self-control not to pull the trigger."

"Anyway, where are we headed next?" Zaeed asked, stopping Garrus before he could say anything else.

"Horizon. The Illusive Man thinks that's where the Collectors will hit next. Oh and apparently Kaidan is there," she added with a grin.

Garrus and Zaeed looked at each other and rolled their eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bioware owns them; I'm just playing with them.**

**Beta: None.**

* * *

"Joker, I don't care where it is, but I want to get the fuck away from this place immediately," Kate yelled across the CIC as she impatiently waited for the elevator. Kelly started to speak and wisely turned away to do other work when she saw the dangerous glint in the commander's eyes.

* * *

"Fucking sonofabitch!" Kate screamed at her space hamster once she was finally in the sanctuary of The Loft. Sam looked at her with his beady black eyes for a moment before he retreated to the shelter of his hut.

She looked from the terrarium down to the picture of Kaidan sitting on her desk. "I _betrayed _you? Why wouldn't you even let me explain?" she yelled as she picked up the picture and threw it across the room where it hit the wall beside her bed and shattered. She slumped into her desk chair, suddenly mentally and physically exhausted.

A beep on the comm revived her. "What's up Joker?"

"Uh Kate?" Joker sounded like he'd rather be doing absolutely anything at that moment than trying to talk to his commander. "Admiral―"

"Tell him I'm not home," she ground out between clenched teeth.

A beat of silence and Joker came back. "He said he'll just keep calling back until you answer."

Kate sighed heavily as she stood up and leaned with her hands against her desk. "Fine."

"Hey now, don't shoot the messenger," Joker said with a laugh as he disconnected.

Kate mumbled something about cocky smart-ass pilots as she hit the button to answer the vid-com and scowled when Hackett's face appeared on the screen in front of her model ships. "What do you want, Dad?"

Hackett rolled his eyes. "You're just a little ball of sunshine today, aren't you? Who pissed in your coffee?"

She growled. "If this is about what happened to Commander Fuck-face on Horizon, save it; he more than deserved what he got."

"What exactly did _Staff Commander Alenko_ do to _deserve_ getting punched in the face?" he asked icily.

"He didn't tell you?" she shot back.

"Thanks to you, Katie, he's not exactly in a position to talk at the moment."

"Fucking coward," Kate muttered.

"His jaw is broken."

"Good," she snarled. "Should have broken several other parts of his anatomy while I was at it. He's lucky he made it off of Horizon alive."

Hackett's eyebrows shot into his hairline. "Excuse me?"

"No, not me. Alright, maybe me. But mostly Garrus and Zaeed. They were both practically vibrating, waiting for a chance to shoot him."

Hackett shook his head in bewilderment. "I don't know why you take those two everywhere, Katie."

"Would you rather I take someone I don't completely trust to have my back?" When he didn't respond, she continued, "Kaidan proved today that I'm lucky I have _anyone_ I can trust or who trusts me."

He sighed and tried again. "What did he say to you?"

Kate shook her head. "You really want to know?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't, Katie."

Her eyes blazed with fury. "Then go ask the jackass to explain himself. I didn't break his hands; he can type it out in his fucking report." With those parting words, she slammed her fist into the console and the call was disconnected. "Oh I'm gonna catch hell for that later," she muttered.

"EDI?" she called out as she flopped face-down on her bed.

The blue orb appeared next to the fish tank. "Yes, Shepard?"

"I'm going off-line for the rest of the night. I don't want to be disturbed unless there's an actual emergency. Joker can fill you in on the definition of 'actual emergency.' But if Miranda gets anywhere near my cabin, for _any reason_, I _will_ space her. And yes, you can tell her I said that."

"Very well, Shepard," the AI said with something that sounded remarkably like apprehension. "Logging you out."


	6. Chapter 6

**Beta: None.  
Bioware owns all.**

* * *

"Someone needs to go up and see if she's OK," Garrus said as he downed a turian brandy.

"And by someone you mean me," Zaeed said flatly.

The turian chuckled. "You catch on quick. Yes, I mean you."

"Why me?"

"Because Romeo," Kasumi said from her perch by the window, "it's obvious to everyone on this ship that you two are totally meant for each other. _Y__ou_ might as well have 'I love Commander Shepard' tattooed in silver and gold glitter on your forehead, from the way you look at her every time she's around."

Zaeed scoffed. "I have no idea what you're talking about, little thief."

Garrus let out a bark of laughter. "I wouldn't have put it quite so colorfully, but she's right, Massani. As for Kate, you may not see it, but spirits, her eyes light up every time you walk into a room. And it's not just those of us on _this_ ship, either. All of us back on the original Normandy could see it. Even Alenko."

The mercenary bristled at the mention of Kaidan's name. "If that's true, then why..."

"She didn't think you were interested. But every time she got a message that you were going to be on the Citadel at the same time we were docked, she'd get this look on her face. Ashley once said that she looked like... oh what's that human expression? 'Like a kid on Christmas morning'?"

Kasumi nodded. "I've only been here a couple of weeks and I've seen that look more than a few times."

Garrus looked Zaeed dead in the eye. "She shouldn't be alone right now. At the very least, go up there and be what you've always been to her, the one person she's always been able to turn to."

When Zaeed still hesitated, Garrus opened the comm channel to the cockpit.

"Joker? What's Kate doing right now?"

"Sitting at the foot of her bed, shredding a pillow with her bare hands," Joker said after a moment.

"How the blazes do you know that, Moreau?" Zaeed growled.

"I asked EDI and she told me," the pilot said a little too innocently.

"Yeah right," Garrus said with a chuckle.

"You should know that the Commander asked not to be disturbed for the rest of the night," EDI said.

"She said not unless it was an 'actual emergency,'" Joker retorted. "This qualifies as a fucking 'actual emergency.' Massani, get your ass up there."

* * *

Zaeed knocked on Kate's door. She sounded like a completely different person when she answered with a weary "Come in."

"Christ. What the hell happened in here, Kate?" he asked in alarm as the door slid open and he stepped into the room.

Data pads were strewn about the floor around the desk; nearly every pillow in the room had been torn in half, if not into quarters or worse; several throwing knives were lodged in the wall above the bed, while several others still lay on the glass coffee table; and Kaidan's picture was smashed to bits on the floor by her nightstand.

In the middle of it all, Kate sat on the floor, surrounded by the remains of a pillow, now just bits of fabric and feathers. She looked up at the sound of Zaeed's voice. "I may have taken my frustrations out on... everything." She nodded her head toward the terrarium on the shelf behind her desk. "And I'm going to have to apologize many times to poor Sam for the way I yelled at him."

Zaeed couldn't help the smile that played across his lips. "You yelled at your hamster?"

"I wasn't really yelling _at_ him, just... towards him I guess. I was yelling at Kaidan."

"I see," he said, all traces of humor gone.

"But then I saw the picture and that got the brunt of my tirade. Well, that and Dad. I really did feel better after I 'talked' to him. I don't think _he_ did, but right now, I don't care." Kate looked up at Zaeed and gave him a small smile. "I'm glad you're here, Z."

"I'm glad I'm here too, kitten." He raised an eyebrow. "You planning to sit on the floor all night?"

She shook her head as she held up her hands and he hauled her to her feet.

EDI's blue orb suddenly appeared in the room. "Commander, I tried to stop her, but she overrode the controls on the elevator."

"What are you talking about?"

Before the AI could answer, there was a knock on the door and it slid open to reveal Miranda. She was looking at a data pad. "Shepard we need-" Her words were cut off by one of Kate's throwing knives whizzing past her head. "What the hell?" She finally looked up, to find Kate struggling against Zaeed, who had one arm around her waist, the other hand firmly wrapped around the wrist of her throwing hand, which held another knife.

"That was a warning," Kate growled. "Next time, I promise you, I won't miss and the Illusive Man will just have to live without his precious Miranda."

Miranda shook her head. "You're a bloody lunatic, Shepard. I knew we should have implanted that control chip. I can see you're not going to listen to reason right now, so we'll talk in the morning." She turned on her heels and left, locking the door behind her.

After a minute, Zaeed released his hold on Kate's wrist and wrapped the arm around her waist. "You know you two are going to have to find a way to get along eventually, kitten."

Kate dropped the knife on the floor and leaned her head back against his chest. "It's not my fault she doesn't listen. I specifically told EDI that Miranda was not to get anywhere near this room tonight." She turned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Thank you." She lightly pressed her lips against his. "I don't want to think what would have happened if you hadn't been here," she murmured.

"Same thing that always happens. You would have come out on top." Zaeed pulled her over to the couch and she curled up beside him as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Two years ago, maybe. Now I just don't know. I don't know who I am anymore."

He gently lifted her face in one hand and looked her straight in the eye. "You are Kate Shepard. You are the same strong, incredible, deadly woman you've always been. Just because that stupid arrogant sonofabitch can't see that doesn't make it any less true."

She smiled. "Will you stay with me?"

He kissed her. "Of course. I'll be here as long as you want me here."

She looked at him. "What if I want you to stay forever?"

"Then that's how long I'll be here."


	7. Chapter 7

**Bioware owns all, etc.**

**Beta: None**

**Thanks for the reviews, fav and follows :)**

* * *

From the moment she set foot in Nos Astra, Kate knew she hated Illium. It was nothing more than Omega wrapped in pretty lights and wealth. At least on Omega, a person knew to watch their step by the dark, gritty atmosphere. Nothing about the outward appearance of Illium screamed danger to the unwary eye, and that's what got people into trouble.

But, like Omega, Illium was a necessary stop for the Normandy and her crew. Kate gave Joker and his crew a few days of well-deserved shore leave while she and her squad took care of an urgent matter for Miranda and sought out the next two recruits on the dossier.

Kate was having to play nice with her second-in-command. Zaeed had used the art of seduction (and a bit of reasoning) to convince Kate she had to apologize for the knife-throwing incident. She still maintained that if Miranda wasn't such a stubborn know-it-all, there wouldn't have been a knife-throwing incident in the first place.

* * *

"Thank you, Shepard," Miranda said.

"Save your thanks, Lawson," Kate said, waving her hand dismissively as they and Garrus stepped onto the elevator in the transport terminal two hours later. "I didn't do this for you. I did it for Oriana. Your sister shouldn't have to suffer just because your father's a narcissistic control freak." She paused before she added quietly, "I am sorry about Niket though. I've never had to kill a friend before and I hope to God I never do."

As much as she wanted to continue hating the woman, Kate was having a hard time of it just now, seeing how much Miranda cared for her sister and the great lengths to which she'd go to protect the teenager. And really, the Illusive Man may have footed the bill, but Miranda had done all the work on the Lazarus Project. Not to mention, she'd twice had a hand in saving Kate from both the Collectors and the Shadow Broker.

The elevator stopped at the floor for the docking bay and the trio stepped out.

Kate decided to bite the bullet and extend an olive branch. She turned to Miranda. "Garrus and I are going to meet with Liara to see if she has any leads on the Assassin and the Justicar. Want to come?"

Miranda grimaced. "Thanks for the offer but I think I'll pass. Dr. T'Soni and I aren't on the best terms. I think I'm going to do a bit of shopping and then head back to the ship. Message me if there's anything you need."

"Can't say I didn't try," Kate muttered to Garrus. Before they went to meet Liara, Kate sent a quick message to Zaeed:

_Z, you can stop pacing and grinding your teeth now. I was nice to Little Miss Perfect. Ask Garrus if you don't believe me. Meet us at Liara's office in five minutes so we can go get Krios._

* * *

Kate was intrigued by Thane Krios. He carried out his task with an air of elegance not usually found in such a profession. Her introduction to the assassin had included an unexpected and unwelcome reunion with an old "acquaintance," Nassana Dantius. When Kate and Garrus had first met Dantius more than two years ago, she had tricked the commander into murdering one of the then-diplomat's own sisters, just to avoid "political embarrassment". Now the bitch had been so paranoid that one of her other sisters was out to kill her that she'd had nearly all of her employees gunned down in cold blood as they fled in terror, just so the building would be clear.

In the end it hadn't helped her. The assassin had slipped in anyway. And he'd managed to save a few traumatized workers in his ascent to the penthouse.

* * *

_From: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
To: Adm. S. Hackett  
Subject: Thanks  
I'm starting to feel more like my old self again since I got my dog tags from Liara.  
I'm sorry about our last conversation. I'm still not sorry for hitting Kaidan, he deserved it, but I am sorry I took out my anger on you.  
Katie_

_From: Adm. S. Hackett  
To: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
Subject: Justified  
I did as you so vehemently suggested and asked Cmdr. Alenko about the incident. He declined to put the conversation in his report. I asked him to write it out off the record. After reading it, I had to resist the urge to break the data pad over his thick skull.  
Dad _

* * *

A quiet drink at Eternity before retrieving Samara was interrupted by a beep on Kate's omni-tool.

"That fucking sonofabitch!" she muttered moments later.

Zaeed raised an eyebrow. "You need to expand your vocabulary, kitten."

She shot him a dirty look and tossed her omni-tool across the table so he could see the message she'd just received from Kaidan.

"That fucking sonofabitch!" Zaeed growled as he read.

"Sounds like there's an echo in here," Kate said with a smirk. She typed a quick response to Kaidan:

_From: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
To: Staff Cmdr. K. Alenko  
Subject: re: Horizon  
Go to hell._

Kate stood up, a defiant sparkle in her blue-gray eyes. "Alright, let's go get the Justicar."

* * *

"You never fail to amaze me, Shepard," Liara said. "Justicars rarely work with others, let alone aliens."

Garrus laughed. "You know how she is, Liara. She has that innate ability to get almost anybody to follow her."

"'Almost' being the operative word," Kate said.

"Sorry Kate," Garrus said quietly. "I'm sure he'll come around."

Kate shrugged. "I don't think I care anymore. He's moved on and so have I."

"What is going on?" Liara asked. "Who are you talking about?"

Garrus looked at Kate and she nodded slightly. He told Liara everything that had happened on Horizon. The asari grimaced at Kate punching Kaidan in the face.

"I wanted to kill the bastard," Garrus growled.

"Garrus!" Liara admonished.

Kate chuckled. "He wasn't the only one. Zaeed was there too. You have any idea how hard it is to keep both of them in check?"

Garrus rolled his eyes at her before turning Liara. "By the way, you owe Joker and me some credits Doc."

Liara looked thoroughly confused. "I do? For what?"

"Remember that bet we made about two and half years ago? Time to pay up."

"What?" Her eyes widened in realization. "Oh Goddess, I completely forgot about that."

Kate narrowed her eyes at Garrus. "You and Joker bet against Kaidan and me staying together?"

"Of course not! Alenko was the one who started the pool in the first place. But it wasn't about the two of you. It was about you and Massani and how long it would take you two idiots to come to your senses."

"So, how did you and Joker come to win the pot?"

Garrus chuckled. "We won by default. Liara said never."

Liara looked at Kate. "So does that mean..."

Kate grinned. "I told you I had moved on."


	8. Chapter 8

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns the ME and all (recognized) characters. Kate's family (besides Hackett) are my own creation.**

* * *

"Hey," Kate said as she walked down the stairs from the Engineering deck.

Jack looked up from her bunk. "Hey yourself. Excellent ink, Shepard. Refreshing not to see the rainbows and unicorns that chicks usually get."

Kate smirked. "Rainbows and unicorns? Do I look like a girlie girl to you, Jack?"

"Fuck no." Jack quirked an eyebrow. "You _don't_ have any girlie tats do you?"

"Only one that could qualify is the faerie on my left shoulder blade, and she's special." She turned so Jack could see the tattoo: the black outline of a Celtic faerie kneeling over a set of dates (2135-2154).

"Nice. You won't lose your kick-ass status over that one."

Kate laughed. "Thank you."

Jack looked intrigued. "Who are the dates for?"

Kate sat on the table across from Jack's bunk. "My mom. She was murdered when I was two months old."

"Harsh. They know who?"

"You ever hear of Marcus Dylan?"

"Christ, Shepard. Every human in the galaxy's heard of that sonofa-" Jack's eyes went wide with realization. "Oh my God. That was _your_ family?"

Kate nodded. "Yup. Every last one of them except my uncle Jason and my dad. And me."

"Was she one of his sisters-in-law?"

Kate shook her head. "Worse. She was his twin sister."

"What? That's insane! How old were you when you found out?"

"Obviously, I'd known his name my whole life, but it wasn't until I was sixteen, when he escaped from prison, that I found out who he really was. I knew from a young age I wasn't getting any answers out of my dad or my uncle. Anytime I asked, they'd change the subject, so eventually I just quit asking. So all I knew were the basics of the family tree as it had been before June 2154: my mom had a twin brother and two older brothers, and that all except Mom's twin brother were married. She was the only one with a kid. It was Marcus himself who told me the whole story."

"That's intense, Shepard."

"Yeah."

Kate finally broke the silence that had descended on them when she looked towards the stairs and said, "You can stop standing in the shadows like a creeper. It's not like any of this is a secret to you."

Jack looked surprised when Garrus walked down the stairs in full armor.

"Come on, Kate. We're at Zorya. Massani's already in the shuttle and said if we're not down there in 30 seconds, he's going to go down there alone."

"Shit. I wouldn't put it past him," Kate said as she jumped from the table and followed Garrus up the stairs. "See ya, Jack!"

* * *

A factory worker screamed as he ran across a catwalk above them. He stopped and looked at them. "Help us! We're trapped! We can't get to the gas valves to shut them off! The whole place is going to blow!"

Garrus turned and glared at Zaeed. "See what you did? Now we have to go save them."

"No!" the mercenary shot back. "I've waited twenty long years for this. Vido dies today."

Both men turned and looked at Kate. She looked at Garrus, flicked her eyes towards the burning factory and raised an eyebrow, asking a silent question. He nodded and turned towards the factory entrance. She smiled to herself. Her father wondered why she took Garrus and Zaeed everywhere? _This_ was why.

As soon as the turian was gone, Zaeed pulled Kate into his arms and kissed her fiercely.

"What was that for?" she asked a couple of minutes later as they took out a small squad of Vido's men.

"Do you _need_ a reason, kitten?" he asked.

She laughed. "Of course not. I was just curious."

"Fine. It was for getting rid of Vakarian," he said gruffly. "I know he's your best friend and all, but he irritates the hell out of me."

"You idiots know I can still hear you, right?" Garrus growled over the comm. Kate suspected he was still a little angry at learning Zaeed's connection to the Blue Suns, one that she had known about for years.

"Your point?" Zaeed said with a wink in Kate's direction.

She suppressed a giggle. "Run into any trouble, big guy?"

"Nothing yet," Garrus said. "Just a lot of fire. I'm almost at the gas valves though. You?"

She shook her head and then realized he couldn't see her. "We've run into some of Vido's guys, but nothing we couldn't handle. Keep the comm channel open just in case. I think we're somewhere close to you anyway. If you can, meet up with us after you shut off the valves. I have the feeling Vido's not going to let us off the hook that easy."

Ten minutes later, her prediction came true. Garrus had just rejoined them, reporting that all the workers were out, when Kate opened the door to a large room. A bullet whizzed past her head and Zaeed yanked her out of way just as another followed closely behind.

"Oh what fresh hell is this?" she muttered as the trio ducked behind some metal piping.

"Fucking bastards. Kate, you're bleeding," he said, kneeling in front of her while Garrus covered them with his sniper rifle.

"What? No I'm not. That's my hair," she protested, swiping a hand across the side of her head. She saw the blood covering her gloved hand and cursed creatively under her breath. She looked at Zaeed. "I'll be fine, OK? Let's just finish these bastards and get to Vido."

He saw the determined look in her eyes and knew he couldn't dissuade her. Not that he wanted to. Now he had one more reason to want Vido dead.

Finally, the last man fell as a well-placed incineration blast from Kate caused the mercs' rocket-launching mech to explode, sending shrapnel in all directions.

"All right, let's go. Vido needs to be a lot less alive than he is right now," she said as she slowly got to her feet. She watched as Garrus and Zaeed looked at each other and knew she was in trouble. "Don't even think about it, you two. I swore I would see this through and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

Zaeed rolled his eyes but relented. "Fine. But if I get bitch-slapped by Dr. Chakwas, I'm coming after you."

Kate grinned. "I look forward to it. Now, let's go."

* * *

Kate and Garrus stood on the walkway above the beach, his arm wrapped protectively around her as she leaned against him. They watched Zaeed as he confronted his ex-partner.

"It was just business, Zaeed!" Vido said, wincing as he limped away.

Zaeed shot him in the leg.

"I did you a favor!" the Suns leader protested weakly as he fell to the ground, surrounded by fuel.

Zaeed looked at him for a moment, lying pathetically on the ground, no longer the arrogant leader he had appeared to be just an hour ago.

"Fry, you son of a bitch," the scarred mercenary growled as he ejected a spent thermal clip into the fuel and watched it ignite around Vido. Then he turned and walked up the steps to Kate and Garrus.

"Let's go. I need to be as far away from here as possible," he said as he wrapped an arm around Kate. "And thank you."

Garrus waved him off. "You'd have done the same for us."

"He has," Kate said quietly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all (except Jason Shepard; he's mine lol).**

* * *

_From: Adm. S. Hackett  
To: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
Subject: Interview  
I get the feeling that one of these days, Ms. Al-Jilani__'s face is going to become suddenly and violently acquainted with your left fist._

_From Cmdr. K. Shepard  
To: Adm. S. Hackett  
Subject: __Thanks for the Idea  
You know me __too __well, Dad. __If __that bitch__ sticks her camera in my face one more time, that's exactly what's going to happen. __I wasn't exactly in an interview-type of mood, so she was damn lucky._

Kate laughed when Hackett's next reply came in. She could just picture him sitting at his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing as he read her message.

_From: __Adm. S. Hackett  
To: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
Subject: You OK?  
It wasn't intended as a suggestion, Katie. Please don't antagonize the media anymore than necessary._

_From: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
To: Adm. S. Hackett  
Subject: Just Great  
Getting fucking tired of all the betrayal this mission is bringing to light. A trip to a supposedly derelict Collector ship turned out to be a trap set by the Illusive Man himself. More proof that no matter what they may portray to humanity, Cerberus is nothing more than a terrorist organization. This mission can't end soon enough._

* * *

As Zaeed had predicted, Dr. Chakwas had been none to happy with Kate after Zorya and tried to get her to rest for a few days, but a message from the Illusive Man had put those plans on hold. After the disaster of the Collector ship, not wishing to incur the wrath of the good doctor, Kate had ordered Joker to set a course for the Citadel and some much needed shore-leave. Now thoroughly rested and healed, she was ready to help Thane find and save his wayward son.

The assassin's tale of how his wife had been murdered had struck a nerve with Kate. She wanted to say she knew exactly how his son Kolyat felt, being raised by his aunts and uncles, but she didn't. He'd been abandoned by his father; she had _never_ felt that way about hers. She may have been raised by her uncle Jason, but her father had made sure they were always in contact. And once he moved to Arcturus permanently, so had she. She'd never resented her father the way Kolyat resented Thane, nor had she had reason to.

Finding out that Kolyat had been hired to kill an anti-human turian politician infuriated Kate. She'd had to resist the overwhelming urge to ask for a moment alone with Elias Kelham, but she knew killing him wouldn't have improved anything and possibly made things worse. And, as Thane pointed out, they did not have time to waste, though he was amused by her ability to use her Spectre status to get them what had possibly been the shortest interrogation in history.

* * *

"Kolyat!" The younger drell turned and stared at Kate as she jumped from the catwalks above him before pursuing his quarry into the apartment.

"Dammit!" She slid behind a post as the turian politician's bodyguards began firing on her. "If you want your boss dead, by all means, keep shooting me," she yelled at the krogan. "I'm a Spectre! I can keep Talid safe until C-Sec gets here!"

The krogan stopped shooting for a moment and seemed to consider her offer. "Fine. But if anything happens to him, you're history, Red."

Kate rolled her eyes and motioned for Thane to follow her into the apartment. They stopped dead in their tracks in the living room. Talid knelt on the floor with Kolyat standing behind him, pressing a gun to the turian's head.

"You!" he glared at Kate. Then he saw his father. "What the hell? Now? Now you show up? Well, you're too late. You had your-" He cringed as a vase beside him shattered. Kate lowered her pistol, stepped over to him and punched him in the face. He dropped his gun.

"Kolyat, your father's here because he's dying. He-"

Kate looked down at Talid still kneeling on the floor. "Go! C-Sec's on their way. If you leave now, I won't tell them about all the shady shit I saw going down between you and the business owners."

"I-I-" he stammered.

Kate hauled him to his feet and shoved him towards the door. "Just go!"

The turian hurried from the apartment as Captain Bailey and a couple of officers walked in.

Kate turned back and saw Kolyat and Thane talking quietly. The younger drell was crying. She turned to Bailey. "What's going to happen to him?"

"Well, he shot some people, not anyone _good_, but still."

Kate scoffed. "Bailey, if I got arrested every time I shot someone, I'd never get out of prison."

The captain smirked. "Then it's a good thing you're a Spectre, Shepard."

"Can't you do something? He's a good kid, just a little... misguided."

"We'll see. Let's get back to C-Sec, let these two talk in private for awhile."

Kate smiled. "Thanks, Bailey."

An hour later, Thane and Kolyat came out of an interrogation room looking a little happier.

"Well?" Kate asked.

"We're going to keep talking, see how things go from there," Thane said with a small smile. "Thank you, Shepard. Now my soul is finally at peace."

Kate shook her head. "No, _now_ you have a reason to come back from this mission. You have to find a way to stay alive, for Kolyat."

Thane nodded. "And what of his punishment?"

"Captain Bailey and I worked it out so Kolyat can work for him, do community service."

Thane turned to the captain. "You would do this for man you don't know?"

"There are so many parents who don't care about their kids. You may have made mistakes in the past, we all do. But you're here now, and that's what matters. If I can help in that, I will."

* * *

_A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the memory of my dad. I love and miss you!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all.**

* * *

"I'm glad you're here, Kate. I need your help," Garrus said as the Commander walked into the forward battery and sat on a crate.

"What's up?" she asked with a smile, trying to put the turian at ease.

Garrus started pacing. "I found a lead on Sidonis, the bastard who betrayed me and my team on Omega. He was last seen here on the Citadel, in the company of a forger by the name of Fade. It's rumored that Fade helps people disappear, for a fee."

"So you want to confront Fade and find out where Sidonis is hiding, yes?"

"Exactly."

Kate stood up and placed a hand on Garrus' armored shoulder. "Anything you need, I'm game."

"Thanks, Kate," Garrus said, his mandibles twitching into the turians' version of a smile.

Kate and Garrus went straight to Captain Bailey's desk at C-Sec.

"Shepard, Vakarian. What can I do for you two?" the captain asked cordially.

"We're looking for someone, thought maybe you could help," Kate said as she and Garrus sat on the other side of the desk.

"Alright, lay it on me."

Garrus leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "You know of a forger named Fade?"

Bailey sighed. "Yeah, I know him, the name at least. Son of a bitch has been a thorn in the Network Division's side for the better part of the last year and a half. Every time we get close, he disappears. Obviously he knows our procedures; we just haven't figured out how. Either he's got a spy on the inside or he figured out our radio frequencies. I don't know which is worse."

"Do you have any leads at all?" Garrus asked anxiously.

"All we've been able to determine is that he's got operatives in a warehouse on Zakara Ward. Maybe you'll be able to get some answers out of them."

Garrus and Kate stood. "Thank you, Bailey," he said as he shook the captain's hand.

"Just _talk_ to them," Bailey warned. "I don't want to hear about you two getting into a firefight in the wards."

Kate had to stifle a laugh as she said, "Of _course_ we're just going to talk to them. Wouldn't dream of causing you trouble, Bailey."

"Thank you," Garrus said as the two friends made their way to the warehouse Bailey had indicated.

"Anytime, big guy," Kate said with a grin. "Alright, this is it."

They pulled out their pistols just in case and made their way into the warehouse. Two krogan stood facing the door, leaning casually on some crates. A volus appeared around the corner.

"Fade?" Kate asked. "You're not exactly what I was expecting."

"Ah," the volus said. "Looks… can be deceiving. So which one of you wants to disappear?"

Garrus stepped forward. "I'd rather you make someone _re_appear."

The volus gulped. "That's not the, ah, service we provide."

Guns pointed down at the shorter alien, Garrus growled. "Why don't you make an exception, just this once?" It wasn't a request.

"Shoot them! For gods' sakes, shoot them!" the volus screeched as he dove out of the way. Two shots from Garrus and Kate's pistols had the krogan bodyguards doubled over in pain on the floor.

"Useless slugs," the volus muttered.

"So," Kate said menacingly. "How about we talk business?"

"I… I… I'm not Fade," the volus stammered. "I just work for him. Sort of."

"I knew it," Kate said as she rolled her eyes.

Garrus holstered his pistol and knelt down in front of him. "Well then maybe you'd like to tell us where we can find him."

"Yes, yes… anything. He works out of the old pre-fab foundry in the Factory District. He's got a bunch of Blue Suns working for him."

"Blue Suns?"

"Yes. Harkin thinks they're protecting him."

Kate bristled at the name. "Harkin is Fade? How?"

"After he got fired from C-Sec, he used his knowledge of its inner workings to make himself disappear. Shortly thereafter, he helped a couple of acquaintances disappear as well and 'Fade' was born. So to speak."

"Fuck!"

"So um… can I go now?" the volus asked nervously, wanting to get as far away from the two larger-than-life Spectres as quickly as possible.

"Sure," Garrus said in a saccharine voice. "But if we don't find Fade, we're coming back for you."

"Oh. Good." The volus beat a hasty retreat as fast as his short stubby legs would take him.

Garrus turned to Kate. "Are you gonna be OK, Kate? I can take someone else if you'd rather not deal with Harkin."

She shook her head. "No, I have to face the bastard sometime. I think it's time we told Zaeed about him though."

"Oh, that should be a fun conversation."

They went back to C-Sec, to update Bailey on everything they'd found out.

"Harkin? God dammit! I knew something wasn't right! He _finally_ got fired almost two years ago, a few months after you went MIA, Shepard. Then he completely dropped off the radar. I should have known it was him from the beginning."

"Well, we're going after him. It's time to end this, once and for all," Kate said. Bailey hadn't been around two years ago, and didn't know her well enough to see the fear that flickered across her face nor hear the slight waver in her voice when she spoke. But Garrus certainly did. And he knew she wasn't just talking about taking down Sidonis.

They'd faced worse enemies than any they were likely to face with Harkin's crew and the turian had never seen his Commander show fear with any of them. She lived for the thrill of the hunt, walking into the unknown. But Harkin himself wasn't an unknown. He wasn't some faceless soldier or alien that needed killing before the next goal could be accomplished. After Marcus Dylan, Harkin was the only man Kate had ever been wary of, but for different, albeit equally legitimate reasons.

* * *

"We need to talk."

Zaeed looked up from his scotch to see Garrus and Kate standing in the doorway of the lounge. He raised an eyebrow. "Who's 'we'?"

"It's not _that_ kind of 'we need to talk,'" Kate said, taking Kasumi's usual spot by the window.

"OK. What's going on?"

Garrus cleared his throat. "Remember when we were talking the night after Horizon? About Kate always being happier than usual when we were going to be on the Citadel at the same time you were?"

"Yes." Zaeed looked warily at the turian.

"While everything I told you was true, there was another, darker reason."

Kate looked over to the bar, where Zaeed was watching her. "Just before I became a Spectre, I ran into a C-Sec officer named Harkin, down in Chora's Den. He was the one who told me where Garrus was, actually. He was a drunk, disgusting sexist pig, but after I left, I thought that would be the end of it. I couldn't have been more wrong. After I became a Spectre, he started sending disgusting messages to my extranet account. I tried to take it to the Executor, but Harkin would delete them before I could get to them, so I gave up, since Palin hates me anyway. Eventually Harkin escalated to following me around the Citadel. Every once in awhile, he'd send me threatening messages as well, but those would be gone in a matter of minutes. _That_ is why I felt better when I was meeting you on the Citadel. Harkin wasn't afraid of Kaidan or Garrus or even Wrex, but I knew he was afraid of you."

By the time Kate had finished speaking, Zaeed was gripping his glass so tightly, he was in danger of causing it to shatter. Garrus noticed the dangerous glint in his eyes and moved to put himself between Zaeed and Kate.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this two years ago, Kate?" the mercenary asked.

She stood up and walked over to him, brushing off Garrus' warning hand on her shoulder as he tried to hold her back. If there was one thing she knew about Zaeed that would always be true, it was that he would never hurt her, no matter how angry he was.

She sat on the bar stool next to Zaeed and pried the glass from his hand and replaced it with her own hand. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry, Z," she said gently. "Kaidan, Garrus and Wrex were already on high alert whenever we were on the Citadel; just because Harkin's stupid enough not to be afraid of them doesn't mean he could take them in a fight. But when I was with you, I just wanted to be able to relax and have fun. I couldn't do that if you were always looking over your shoulder or making me look over mine."

Zaeed sighed and kissed her hand. "Fine. If I think about it long enough, I suppose that makes sense. But if all this happened two years ago, why are you telling me now?"

"It's like the universe is sending me a message: 'you should have stayed dead,'" Kate said bitterly.

Zaeed raised an eyebrow.

"To get to Sidonis, we're going to have to talk to Harkin," Garrus explained. "And by 'talk,' I mean fight through his hoard of Blue Suns."

"Christ. There's no other way?"

Garrus shook his head. "Not that I've found."

"And before you even think it, I'm going," Kate said.


	11. Chapter 11

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all (except Marcus; that jackass is mine) **

* * *

Kate winced as she slowly opened her eyes. Every inch of her body felt as if it had been beaten with a lead pipe. Three things were immediately clear to her: wherever she was, she was sitting on the floor, gagged with her arms handcuffed to a hook in the wall above her head; she was completely alone; and she was freezing. The last was due in no small part to the fact that she'd been stripped of her armor, leaving her in only the N7 tank top and black cargo pants she'd been wearing underneath.

She tugged on the cuffs and was immediately rewarded with a sharp jolt of electricity stinging her wrists. Panic set in as every single memory of the last time she'd been in this situation flashed through her mind like a horror movie on fast forward.

She mentally slapped herself. _Get a fucking grip, __Kat__e__. You're __not that skinny little sixteen year old Zaeed __found__ on Omega.__You've moved past that. __Marcus and his men have been dead for fifteen years. They can't hurt you now. _

Thinking of Zaeed made her heart hurt; in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to be back in the Loft, snuggled in the safety of his arms. Suddenly, everything that had _actually_ happened started to come back to her, and she felt no better about her current situation.

She, Garrus and Zaeed had been in the factory district, looking for Harkin. They'd been ambushed just outside the pre-fab foundry that the volus had mentioned. Flashbang grenades had been used to disorient and separate them; in the confusion, she'd been shot, which explained the extreme pain in her left thigh just above her knee. Despite her injury, she'd tried to run and had subsequently been knocked out. She could only assume whoever had abducted her had done so on Harkin's orders, which meant she was more than likely somewhere in the foundry, if the volus had been telling the truth. She had no idea what had happened to Garrus and Zaeed.

Without thinking, she tugged on the cuffs again, remembering only too late the electric shock that came with the action. _Fuck! Well, __you__ do keep saying __you__ need more scars. __Keep this up and you'll get them back, idiot._

A sound of footsteps drew her attention to the other side of the small room. The door slid open and she was momentarily blinded as a bright light came on. Then a voice spoke, one that sent a shiver of fear racing down Kate's spine. It was Harkin.

"Hello, princess. I finally have you all to myself. I've been waiting a long time for this."

He stepped into the room and Kate backed into the corner, bringing her knees to her chest, ignoring the burn pain in her thigh, trying to make herself as small as possible, knowing it was a futile effort. Whatever Harkin intended to do to her, he could and would do it and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.

Harkin laughed loudly, the harsh sound making Kate cringe. He crouched in front of her and slapped her hard across the face; she immediately tasted blood.

"Not so tough without your bodyguards are you, sweetheart?"

She mumbled through the gag.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that," he sneered as he roughly tugged the gag from her mouth.

She spit blood in his face. "I said 'go to hell jackass.'"

Harkin growled as he wiped the blood from his face. "You just think you have an answer for everything, don't you, Shepard?"

He reached up to unlock the hook that held her cuffs and then grabbed her by the throat and lifted her to her feet. "You know, I was going to keep you around as a pet, but you're just too much trouble, so apparently I'm going to have to break you first."

Suddenly, there were sounds of a scuffle outside the room. Harkin spun around, pulling Kate back against his chest and tightening his grip on her throat, drawing his gun as he went. He pressed the gun to her head.

Moments later, Zaeed and Garrus appeared in the doorway. They stopped short when they saw Harkin and Kate.

"Weapons on the floor, gentlemen, or Shepard will be going back to the afterlife. And she won't make a third appearance in this life."

Zaeed knew Harkin was bluffing; he may have held the gun against Kate's head, but his finger was nowhere near the trigger. The man's grip on her throat, however, seemed to be getting tighter by the second. One look into Kate's eyes and Zaeed knew she was fading fast.

"I think I'll take my chances, Harkin," he growled menacingly as he raised his pistol. "Vakarian?"

Garrus nodded. He instinctively knew what Zaeed was thinking and what his next step would be.

Zaeed aimed at Harkin's gun hand and fired. Harkin's gun fell to the floor as his grip on Kate's throat loosened and she fell to the floor, gasping for air. Zaeed caught her before her face hit the floor, as she was unable to brace on her hands because of the cuffs. Garrus moved past them to secure Harkin, who was howling in pain.

Zaeed quickly hacked the cuffs and gathered Kate in his arms, holding her as tightly as he dared; he could tell she was in pain and would hate himself forever if he caused her any more. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he stood and walked towards the door.

"Where are we going?" she whispered.

"You and I are going to the Normandy. Dr. Chakwas is going to want a good look at you. Vakarian is taking Harkin to C-Sec, for now."

"And you won't leave?"

He gently kissed her forehead. "No, kitten. I won't leave."

She nodded slightly before she fell unconscious and her head slumped against his shoulder.


	12. Chapter 12

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns all (except Marcus Dylan; unfortunately, he's mine). **

**A/N: Another darker chapter, but I figured y'all had waited long enough to find out exactly how Z & K met. **

**Possible trigger warning: implied rape**

* * *

_As the last man fell dead, Zaeed decided he'd more than earned the credits on this particular job, tracking a band of extremely dangerous escaped convicts from Earth all the way to Omega. He had only to find Marcus Dylan, a sadistic sonofabitch who had escaped after fifteen and a half years served on a life sentence for the murders of six people. _

_Thoroughly searching the base, the bounty hunter found every room unlocked and empty, all except the last one, tucked in a corner near the back. At first glance, this room appeared just as empty as the rest. Then his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and what he saw nearly made his heart stop, the bounty pushed out of his mind completely. _

_A girl, no more than sixteen, was shackled at her wrists to the headboard of the small bed in the corner of the room. He watched in horror as the restraints suddenly lit up with a strong electric current and she writhed in pain. Though he didn't want to dwell on it, he wondered what else the men had been doing to her. Only one reason came to mind for a group of men, particularly those who had been imprisoned as long as some of these had been, to have a lone girl with them._

_As soon as the current stopped, he made his way over to the bed. He holstered his pistol and held his hands up, hoping to show he meant her no harm. He knelt on the bed and unlocked one of the shackles. _

_But the moment her hand was free, she hauled back and punched him in the throat. Hard._

_He staggered back, coughing and glared at her. "What the fuck did you do that for?" he growled once he'd found his voice again._

"_Sorry, I've been waiting to do that for a long time," she drawled, her voice tinted with a hint of an accent Zaeed couldn't place. "Obviously, you weren't my real target, you were just... convenient; otherwise, I would have hit lower, and harder, and probably not with my fist."_

_He raised an eyebrow. "Should I unlock your other restraint or will that just make you hit me again?"_

"_I suppose you could always do it and find out," she said with a small smile. "Who the hell are you anyway?"_

"_Zaeed Massani," he said as he went to work on the second shackle. "You're Jessica Shepard, right?"_

_She nodded. "How did you know?"_

"_I'm a bounty hunter. I've been tracking Marcus Dylan since he instigated that prison break back on Earth. Your father contacted me after he hadn't heard from you in a week, figured Marcus must have gotten to you."_

_She shuddered violently at the mention of Dylan. "I see. Yeah, Marcus is here. Now I'm definitely sorry I hit you." _

"_Don't worry about." Zaeed stood and held out a hand to her. "Dare I ask, how in God's name did you end up here?"_

_She put her right hand in his and gripped his shoulder with her left as she slowly stood on shaking legs. "I was in-"_

"_Oh look, my little whore found the troublemaker," a new voice sneered from the doorway._

_Before Zaeed could turn or react at all, Jessica pulled the pistol from his hip holster and fired. A body hit the floor behind them with a dull thud. A moment later, she cried out in pain and slumped against him as the gun fell to the floor. _

"_Shit!" Zaeed gently set her back on the bed and knelt to pick up his gun, looking back to see who she'd shot. It was Marcus Dylan himself. He lay dead on the floor with a bullet hole where his right eye should have been._

"_Bloody hell, girl. Where did you learn to shoot like that?" he asked in amazement as he turned back to Jessica, who was leaning against the headboard, pressing her hands against a blood stain that was rapidly spreading across her abdomen. "And... when did _you_ get shot?"_

_She looked into his eyes and nodded, giving her consent for him to look at her wounds._

"_Well, you know who my dad is. While he was on active duty when I was a kid, I lived with my uncle, an ex-cop, in his bar in Dallas. So I grew up around guns. They taught me to shoot when I was ten." She winced and bit her lip against the pain as Zaeed wrapped a bandage around her stomach. "As for this, it was a couple of days ago. I may have tried to escape, not for the first time, and the men may have taken it rather like an insult, so one of them shot me. Marcus patched me up enough so they wouldn't have to find someone else to fuck, but I guess I reopened the wound just now, moved too fast or something. Punching you probably didn't help," she added ruefully._

_Zaeed gave her a tight smile. "No it probably didn't, but given everything you've been through, it was an understandable reaction. Thanks, by the way. You saved both our asses just now." _

_She shook her head. "No, thank _you_, for letting me get revenge against that fucking bastard," she said quietly. _

"_Accidental, but you're definitely welcome," he said as he stood once again and carefully lifted her in his arms. "If anyone deserves revenge, it's you, Jessie."_

* * *

Zaeed woke with a start. He glanced over at the bed to find Kate sitting up against her pillows, watching him. "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" he asked.

Kate shrugged. "I got lonely being in this big bed all by myself. Can I assume you have a good reason for being _all_ the way over there instead of right here with me?" she asked innocently as she carefully scooted over and patted the spot next to her.

Zaeed was sitting in a chair beside the bed with one foot propped up at the end of it. Now he knew what had woken him up: his other foot hitting the floor. He suspected Kate had kicked him.

He smirked. "I have a _very_ good reason actually. Didn't want anyone to think I might be taking advantage of you while you were incapacitated. That, and if I'm lying in bed with you, it's harder to kick people out of here without resorting to shooting them. I figured excessive gunfire might disturb your sleep."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Get your sexy ass over here."

"As you wish, kitten." He climbed in next to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in close.

She laid her head on his shoulder and traced the tattoos on his chest with her thumb. "So what were you dreaming about?"

He ran his fingers through her hair, tucking a stray curl behind her ear, and held her closer. "The same thing I've been dreaming about the last few days: the day we met."

She raised her head and looked into his eyes. "Christ. I'm sorry, Z."

He leaned in and kissed her. "I'll gladly relive that day every time I close my eyes for the rest of my life in exchange for having you safe in my arms when I wake up."

She smiled. "Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that. The dreaming, anyway. Can I ask you a question?"

"I think you already did, kitten," Zaeed teased, "but go ahead."

"How did I end up here?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean how did I end up in the Loft instead of down in the med-bay? The Karin Chakwas I know does not easily give up control of her patients to others."

"Ah. Charm and reasoning," Zaeed said with a sly smile. Kate snorted with laughter. "Alright, mostly reasoning. After she fixed your leg and wrapped your wrists, she said you needed rest, and lots of it. I just told her that you would sleep much better up here than down there."

"That alone wouldn't convince her," Kate persisted. "She'd just claim that's what sleeping pills are for."

Zaeed sighed. "I also may have told her that a similar event in the past induced panic attacks and that you wouldn't want to have one in front of the crew. She was reluctant but Vakarian backed me up on both points and she wasn't going to say no to him."

"I see. Well, remind me to thank both of them later." She shifted and carefully straddled his hips. "As for you, hot shot, I can thank you properly right now," she purred with a devious smile as she kissed his jawline and ran her hands down his chest and stomach, inching toward the top of his jeans.

He groaned and gently caught her wandering hands in one of his. "Sorry, kitten. I promised the doc we'd be good for a couple of days 'til your leg heals."

Kate pouted. "Fine. Then can I have visitors or is that off-limits too? Having to follow somebody else's rules on my own fucking ship," she muttered.

Zaeed laughed. "I see. So now I'm completely boring and useless."

She rolled her eyes.

He kissed her nose. "Yes, kitten, you can have visitors. Who do you want to see?"

"Garrus," Kate said promptly.

He nodded. "I thought that's what you'd say. EDI?"

The blue orb popped up. "Yes, Mr. Massani?"

"Is Vakarian still on the ship?"

"Yes. Shall I send him up?"

"Yes, thank you EDI," Kate said.

"Very good. Logging you both out."

* * *

Zaeed was gone and Kate was sitting on one end of the couch, her left leg propped on the coffee table, when Garrus stepped into the room.

"Hey big guy. How ya doing?"

Garrus laughed. "Me? You're the one who got kidnapped and shot and you're asking how _I'm_ doing?"

Kate smiled. "Well no point in my asking myself how I'm doing. I already know how I'm doing. So?"

He sat next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "I'm OK. I was worried about you, Kate. Still am. You say you're OK, but-"

She rested her head on his chest. "It'll come. I don't know when but yeah. With Marcus, it was three or four days after and I just snapped; ask Zaeed, it wasn't pretty. But that was so much bigger than this."

"That doesn't mean it wasn't traumatic, Kate. You have to process it eventually," Garrus said gently.

She nodded. "I know. And I will. After Harkin's dead." She looked up at him. "Have you found Sidonis yet?"

"No, I haven't talked to Harkin yet. I wanted to make sure you were OK first."

"Can I still come with you? After all the trouble I went through to catch Harkin for you," Garrus rolled his eyes at her, "I want to help you see this through."

Garrus' mandibles twitched into a smile. "If you think you'd be up to it, and you can shake off your overprotective bodyguard."

"No, I'm sure he'll be tagging along, in the shadows of course," Kate said with a smirk. "But yes, I absolutely want to be there. I think it'll be good for both of us."


	13. Chapter 13

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns all.  
Thanks for the reviews, new follow and fav :)  
**

* * *

After three more days of rest and a lot of persuasion, Kate had convinced Dr. Chakwas she was fit for light duty, which in Kate's mind included finding and eliminating Sidonis. And charming Bailey into letting her into the same room as Harkin had been surprisingly easy. The captain had allowed Garrus and Kate to talk to Harkin about setting up a meeting with Sidonis. They hadn't told either man why they wanted to see the hunted turian, though Harkin must have known it was a set-up.

"Yeah, it's me," Harkin said into the communicator. "Look, there's a chance your identity has been compromised. I'm sending one of my agents to correct the situation. The usual place. Uh-huh. Trust me, you'll know her when you see her. She's a hot little redhead with a limp," he added, turning to leer at Kate.

She clinched her fists but remained calm. She felt Garrus tense up behind her and heard his warning growl.

"Later," she hissed. "One jackass at a time."

The call was disconnected and Harkin turned to the pair. "OK, it's set. He'll meet you at mid-day in front of Orbital Lounge."

As she walked past him, Kate suddenly reached out and slapped him. "Not so tough without your bodyguards are you, _sweetheart_?" she taunted, throwing his exact words back in his face.

He lunged at her with a snarl and Bailey rolled his eyes at Kate as two C-Sec officers hauled Harkin back into his cell. "Look, I know what he did to you, but was that really necessary, Shepard?"

"Made me feel a lot better and he deserves worse, so yeah, it really was," she answered coldly.

* * *

"I'm surprised Massani agreed to stay on the ship," Garrus said as he and Kate took a shuttle to the meeting place two hours later.

Kate scoffed. "He didn't. All I asked him to do was promise that he wouldn't do anything to Harkin until Sidonis was dead. Just in case something went wrong and we had to talk to the little bastard again."

"Smart."

The shuttle landed on the catwalks above the Presidium and they climbed out.

"Alright, so how's this going to work?" Kate asked. "I know what I have to do, but where will you be? It's always nice to know where the man with the gun is, even if he's a friend."

Garrus looked around a moment and then pointed. "I'll be setup over there. That should give me the shot I need. You ready?"

"Hell yes," Kate said with a nod. "Let's do this."

When she reached the main floor of the Presidium, she looked through the crowds for any sign of Sidonis. She saw a lone turian sitting in front of the lounge. "Is that him on the bench?" she asked Garrus over the comm.

She could hear the tension in his voice when he answered. "Yeah, that's him. Wave him over. Keep him talking until I have the shot lined up."

"Got it."

She caught Sidonis' eye and waved him over.

"Huh. He wasn't kidding," the turian said by way of introduction.

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked, her voice deceptively calm.

He took a step towards her. "Harkin. He said you were hot and he was right. I don't usually go for humans, but I'd definitely make an exception for you."

Kate mentally rolled her eyes. "Thanks a lot, Harkin. Sticking me with the creeps again," she muttered.

"Nice touch," Garrus said. Kate could practically hear his smirk through the communicator.

"So what the hell happened? I'm not paying good money for screw-ups like this," Sidonis said, his demeanor changing instantly from lecherous to pissed off.

"You want to know what happened, you'd have to ask Harkin," Kate said with a shrug.

"This better not happen again."

"I've got the shot, Kate. As I just got you back in one piece and I'd like to keep you that way, I'd suggest you duck," Garrus hissed in her ear.

"Don't worry," Kate said to Sidonis in a saccharine voice, nodding almost imperceptibly so Garrus would know she'd heard him. "I guarantee this is a once in a lifetime mistake. For you."

She ducked down, pretending to retie the laces on one of her boots. Two seconds later, Sidonis fell to the ground dead with a bullet between his eyes.

"Betrayal repaid, Sidonis," Garrus said darkly.

* * *

A beep on his omni-tool caused Zaeed to stop pacing. He smirked at the unsigned three-word message: _Tag, you're it__. _

"Alright Harkin, time to pay the piper, you psycho sonofabitch," he muttered to himself as he walked to C-Sec. He hadn't yet figured out how he was going to get into the holding cells, but when he got to Bailey's desk, the captain had all the answers.

"I already know why you're here, Massani," he said quietly. "Whatever you're going to do, just... try not to make a mess back there."

Zaeed raised an eyebrow. "How-"

Bailey held up a hand. "Vakarian told me what happened to Shepard when he brought Harkin in a week ago. Honestly, I was surprised the sonofabitch has lasted this long, or even made it here in one piece to begin with. But I'll assume after the meeting he had with Shepard and Vakarian this morning that Harkin has now outlived his usefulness."

"Damn right he has," Zaeed said darkly. "I won't be long."

* * *

Harkin scowled when he saw Zaeed outside his cell. "Fuck. I can't get a moment's peace from you people."

The door slid open, Zaeed stepped inside and Harkin backed up against the wall. "What the fuck is this?" He looked towards the camera embedded in the wall. "Bailey? Did you let this asshole in here?"

Zaeed knew Bailey couldn't hear or see him as he'd gotten Kasumi to turn the cameras off in the cell block. That way, the captain could claim ignorance of anything that happened if anyone investigated Harkin's death. With Harkin's reputation, it was unlikely anyone would care, but best to play it safe.

"You're done, Harkin," the mercenary growled as he walked towards him.

"And you're going to do what exactly?" Harkin asked, his voice cracking slightly.

Zaeed said nothing as he reached out and snapped the man's neck. The body had barely hit the floor before Zaeed was gone from the room and the cameras were turned back on.

* * *

_From: Steven Hackett  
To: Kate Shepard  
Subject: Citadel  
Anderson wants to know what part of "keep to the Terminus Systems" you didn't understand. I asked him why he didn't just talk to you; he wouldn't give me a straight answer. So, is there some reason you're no longer speaking to each other?  
Dad_

_From: Kate Shepard  
To: Steven Hackett  
Subject: Long Story  
I may have told Anderson to go to hell, for the same reason I punched Kaidan. Anderson was a tad more subtle and "diplomatic" about it, but the message was the same. As for why we're on the Citadel, I had a couple of jobs to do here, favors for my crew. One for Garrus turned... bad. That's why we've been here so long.  
But we're heading to Bekenstein in the morning, then we'll get back out to the wilds where we're "supposed to be." Fucking Council.  
Katie_


	14. Chapter 14

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns all. **

* * *

Wolf whistles echoed across the CIC when Kate stepped from the elevator. Infiltrating Donovan Hock's mansion included having to attend his society party, so Kasumi had gone shopping before they'd left the Citadel. Kate's usual t-shirt, cargo pants and combat boots had been replaced with a very-low-cut black cocktail dress and black FMPs.

"Alright boys, pick your jaws up off the floor and get back to work," she said as she walked towards the cockpit where Kasumi waited with a slack-jawed Zaeed and Joker. She couldn't help but laugh when the thief reached out and gently nudged their mouths closed.

"Bloody hell. Are you trying to kill me, Kate?" Zaeed growled, impatiently swatting Kasumi's hand away. He was accompanying them to the party, posing as Kate's bodyguard, so he was going to have to spend the entire evening keeping his hands to himself, watching her flirt with Hock and anyone else she needed to in order to gain access to Hock's vault.

She smirked. "If you don't want to come, I can always take Jacob. But Hock's guaranteed to have better booze than we've got on this ship. Might be your last chance for awhile to get a proper liver-pickling drink."

He shook his head as he tugged on the collar of his dress shirt. "Taylor watching your back? Not bloody likely. But you owe me for this."

"Don't worry, it'll be fun," Kate said with a grin.

* * *

"Darling, would you happen to know anything about this?" Donovan Hock murmured in Kate's ear as he came up behind her and brushed his hands over her shoulders to steer her towards his security monitors.

She tore her eyes from the painting she'd been admiring and cringed inwardly. A change of plans had a pissed-off Zaeed accompanying Kasumi into the vault while Kate kept Hock distracted. The pair had made it to the prize. But picking up Keji's greybox had triggered a secondary alarm they hadn't known about and the cameras had come back on.

She looked at Hock with what she hoped was an unreadable expression on her face. "No, Donovan, I have no idea what's going on."

Hocked narrowed his eyes. "I find that hard to believe. A woman like you wouldn't hire a man to be your bodyguard unless you knew him very well."

"Obviously, I don't know him as well as I thought I did," Kate said innocently.

"Next I suppose you're going to tell me you don't know Miss Goto either," Hock said viciously. He slid his hands down her arms and grabbed her wrists as she started inching away. "Not so fast. You're not going anywhere. You're going to sit here and watch your friends die in my vault. And then I'm going to kill you as well."

He flipped a switch and spoke to the head of his security. A minute later, a squad of guards filed into the vault. Kate could only watch as Zaeed and Kasumi fought them off.

Hock growled in frustration when Chief Roe fell and Zaeed and Kasumi were able to escape. He called in his own bodyguard and shoved Kate towards him. "I'm going downstairs to deal with the intruders myself. I'll be back to deal with this one later. Do not let her out of your sight."

The guard nodded as he reached out to grab Kate. But she quickly reached under her dress and pulled the pistol from her thigh holster and shot at both men, not stopping to see if she hit either one.

* * *

"Kate Shepard, you are going to be the death of me, I swear it," Dr. Chakwas lamented two hours later as she pulled shrapnel from the Commander's arm, leg and back. Kate used her free hand to apply medi-gel to scrapes on her face and neck.

Zaeed sat on another bed, swearing at Mordin as the salarian fixed his dislocated shoulder. Kasumi, having made it out relatively unscathed, was updating Miranda and the Illusive Man on their progress.

"Uh-huh. So I was just supposed to let Kasumi take the full blast of the explosion?" Kate shot back.

"No one will ever dissuade you from jumping into the line of fire for your friends, and I commend you for that. But dammit woman, you were _supposed_ to be wearing armor, not this... I can't even believe you'd call this a dress."

"How was I supposed to know Hock was going to have a fucking rocket launcher?"

"He was a weapons dealer, Kate," Zaeed said, rolling his eyes. "Of course he had a rocket launcher and a gunship. You never did explain exactly how you ended up on the landing pad without your armor, your sidearm or your shoes."

Kate hissed as the doctor began applying medi-gel to the rest of her wounds. "When Hock found out you and Kasumi broke into his vault, he got suspicious of me as well, didn't think I wouldn't know the plans of my own bodyguard. So I had to make a run for it. Didn't have time to get my guns and armor."

"Where were you?" Zaeed asked quietly.

Kate ignored the question and continued. "When I ran out of bullets, I... threw my gun. Then I had to throw my shoes. Pretty sure I killed a guard with one of them. Those heels were fucking spikes."

"Bloody hell. You were in his bedroom! He was trying to seduce you, wasn't he?"

Kate looked straight into his eyes. "Trying, yes and _way_ too hard. Succeeding, not in the least. There's a high probability Donovan Hock would have died tonight even if the heist had gone off without a hitch."

* * *

_From: Cmdr. K. Shepard  
To: Councilor D. E. Anderson  
Subject: Gone  
Next time you see the Normandy docked on the Citadel, I'll be finished with Cerberus.  
Happy?  
Shepard_

_From: David E. Anderson  
To: Kate Shepard  
Subject: I'm Sorry  
I'll assume you talked to your father then. That message wasn't from me, I promise you. It was Sparatus; you know he's always had a stick up his ass when it comes to you and being a Spectre.  
And I am sorry for what I said to you when you first came in to see me. I don't trust Cerberus, but I do trust you.  
Just please be careful.  
Anderson_


	15. Chapter 15

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns the ME universe. Marcus and Jason are mine.  
Thanks for the new fav and follow :)  
And thanks to pixelatrix for giving me the idea for this chapter.**

* * *

_This will not end well_, Zaeed thought to himself, watching from the shadows as Kate headed into the VIP section of Afterlife. Catching Morinth, one of Samara's Ardat Yakshi daughters, was not only important to the Justicar but also the well-being of the galaxy. Therefore Zaeed had sworn on his mother's grave not to interfere, no matter what. That didn't mean he wasn't going to keep an eye on them though. It wasn't that he didn't trust Samara not to get to Kate before Morinth overpowered her or that he thought Morinth c_ould_ overpower Kate. It was that he was beyond worried about Kate's emotional health.

It had been two weeks since her abduction and Zaeed kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Kate kept insisting she was fine, and that's what scared the hell out of him. She'd said the same thing fifteen years ago. He knew it wasn't true now and it sure as hell wasn't true back then.

She may have told Garrus that nothing had happened until three or four days later, but Zaeed remembered it very differently. In reality, it had been about five minutes after she shot Marcus, before they'd even gotten out of the base.

_Despite Zaeed's reservations and the severity of her gunshot wound, Jessie insisted on walking, to prove to herself that she could. She was calm and confident until they got to the main hall, where most of the men had been gathered and now lay dead. She suddenly fell to the ground, whimpering and trembling violently._

_Zaeed knelt in front of her and gently took her hands in his. _

"_Jessie, look at me," he said calmly. She raised her head slightly but wouldn't look him in the eye. He squeezed her hands and repeated the request more firmly. "Look at me." This time she complied, silent tears streaming down her face. "You are safe from them now. They can't hurt you ever again. And I will protect you as long as you're with me, OK?"_

_She nodded._

_He stood and pulled her to her feet. "Are you still OK to walk on your own?"_

"_I don't care." Her voice was barely above a whisper. _

"_Jessie?" He looked at her with concern._

"_I just want to go home."_

He'd carried her the rest of the way; she'd passed out half-way to his apartment and had done little more than sleep for the next three days. It was on the fourth day that she completely lost it, as they were preparing to leave.

_Zaeed was in the bedroom, checking and rechecking that he'd packed everything they'd need, when he heard a scream from the living room. He ran in and saw Jessie backed into a corner, pointing at something or someone that wasn't there. He was in her line of sight but she couldn't see him. She was somewhere else entirely. She stood like that for several minutes, not moving at all. _

_Then, without missing a beat, she slid to the floor. "He's dead. You killed him," she whispered over and over. _

_Zaeed thought she was done and started walking towards her. Then her eyes opened wide, still unseeing, and she started sobbing._

"_No!" she screamed suddenly. "You're lying! You can't be their brother. It's just not possible. You killed them! You killed them all! You're a mon-" She cut her words off and her head turned to the side as if she'd been slapped._

_It was then that Zaeed knew where she was and what she was reliving: the very beginning, the day Marcus broke out of prison and killed Jason. _

_Jessie had told Zaeed just yesterday what had happened that day. Marcus had broken into the Argo after closing and waited for Jason to show up the next day. He'd shot him in cold blood as he walked into his office in the back of the bar. Jessie had been out front, getting ready to call her father, when she heard the shot and ran back to see what had happened. She said Marcus had been utterly surprised by her presence but not at all disappointed. And that's when he'd told her who he really was: not just some random stranger, as her father and Jason had always stated (if they spoke of it at all) but one of her uncles._

* * *

"It's been two hours. They should have been back by now," Garrus said as he slid into the seat across from Zaeed.

The mercenary only nodded as he stared into the bottom of his glass. While they weren't exactly what anyone would call friends, the turian vigilante's presence was certainly a welcome distraction from Zaeed's torturous memories.

The two men sat in silence for a few minutes until someone coughed softly by their table, making them both jump as they looked up.

It was Samara, with a pained expression on her face.

"Everything OK?" Zaeed asked cautiously.

"Everything went according to plan. Morinth is dead."

"So why do you look so concerned? I thought that's what you wanted?"

Samara frowned. "It's not that. Is Commander Shepard here?"

Zaeed raised an eyebrow. "No. She's not with you?"

"No. When we were done, I told her I wanted to remain a few moments in Morinth's apartment. She then said she was going to send you a message to meet here for a drink and left. That was an hour ago."

Zaeed was on his feet immediately. "I've been here since you started following them from the VIP lounge. I haven't gotten any messages and Kate hasn't been here."

"You know what this is, Massani. It was only a matter of time," Garrus said as he stood as well.

"Yes, I know," Zaeed said quietly. "I'll go look for her."

"Need help?" Garrus asked.

"No. It's better if I do this alone."

* * *

There were only a handful of places Zaeed could think of where Kate might have gone. Though he knew she hadn't been through the club, he stopped and asked Aria if she'd seen her. As expected, the self-described Queen of Omega hadn't seen Kate since she and Samara had come by to talk to her before they'd confronted Morinth. The salarian bartender on the lower level said he had seen her; she'd bought a bottle of whiskey from him. But he hadn't seen where she'd gone after that.

Zaeed left Afterlife and stopped by the tattoo shop where he'd taken Kate to get her first tattoo fifteen years ago, the day before they'd finally left Omega, three days later than originally scheduled. The shop owner, the same one who had been there back then and was well-known to both Zaeed and Kate, said she hadn't been by in three months. That had been while she was giving Garrus time to recover, just before Alchera.

His next stop was the block where his apartment had been all those years ago; he was more than a little thankful that she wasn't there. In the ten years since he'd lived there, that section had been over-run by vorcha.

Then it dawned on Zaeed where Kate might have gone.

Though Marcus would likely always haunt her dreams, this time it wasn't about him. This was about Harkin. But it was more than just him; it was about what had led to Harkin being back in the picture in the first place, Sidonis' betrayal of Garrus.

Zaeed finally found Kate sitting in a corner on the terrace in the ruins of Archangel's base, the mostly empty bottle of whiskey sitting at her feet. He sat down next to her and she put her head on his shoulder.

"How did you know where to find me?" she asked after awhile.

"Is that disappointment I hear in your voice, kitten?" Zaeed asked.

She shrugged. "Maybe. I dunno. Omega messes with my head too much. I just... I needed to come back here, to remember that one moment where everything was almost completely right with the universe, when I had you and Garrus fighting with me, before everything fell apart again and I was thrown back into hell. I mean, I still have you both, but everything's changed. Really it changed long before we ever got here, before Sidonis ever betrayed Garrus. But I've buried those demons. I left them them with the dead on Alchera months ago."

"Do you want me to go?" Zaeed asked quietly.

Kate reached out and grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "No. Please stay. I don't want to leave just yet, but I've had enough of being alone with my thoughts. Now I just want to be alone with you for awhile."


	16. Chapter 16

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****the ME universe****. **

* * *

Another explosion, another pile of ruins utterly destroyed. The end result of taking Jack back to the place where she'd been raised had been like Virmire all over again. Except this time, Kate hadn't had to leave anyone behind. Jack had made sure of that when she shot the other "survivor" before she set the bomb. Not that he had wanted to leave the damn place anyway.

The longer Kate was on this mission and the more she delved into the past lives of her crew, she realized one thing. She had not had a very conventional childhood, and her teen years had been royally fucked up, but compared to a lot of her crew, she'd let a pretty sweet life, even after joining the marines. She could have had it much worse. She'd met a survivor of Akuze two and half years ago. As Cpl. Toombs had said to her, she really did have it good; she'd made it off of Elysium with a few scars, a couple of medals and a scary reputation. He'd watched his entire unit die and then had been tortured by Cerberus for years afterward. This coupled with what she'd seen happen to Admiral Kahoku's men and ultimately to the Admiral himself at the hands of Cerberus, and was it any wonder Kate hated the organization? She knew why Kaidan had reacted the way he had when they'd met on Horizon. He'd been there with her through all of that, as had Garrus. It hadn't been his reaction, it had been his refusal to give her a chance to explain.

"Kate, you'd better double-time it to Miranda's office," Joker said over the comm, pulling Kate back to the present. "She and Jack are having an all-out war in there. I don't want them tearing my ship apart."

"Thanks, Joker," Kate said as she ran across the loading bay to catch the elevator.

She could hear crashes and loud yelling before the elevator even reached the crew deck. Gardner had disappeared, as had the rest of the crew. They all appeared to have fled in terror, leaving their dinner behind.

The door slid open to her XO's office and Kate immediately ducked as Miranda's office chair went sailing over her head.

"What the fuck? Alright, that's _it_!" she growled as she walked into the room. "I get it, you can't stand each other, you hate each other even. But you have to work together, because _I_ said so. Got it? If you can't figure out how to co-exist peacefully on this ship until this mission is over, so help me God, I will put both of you in cryo until we go through the Omega-4 relay."

"But-" Miranda started to protest.

Kate held up a hand and turned to Jack. "Jack, you have extremely legit reasons for hating Cerberus," she continued. "But taking it out on Miranda won't help anything. She wasn't involved in that project." Jack glared at her but the Commander ignored her and turned back to Miranda. "You think Jack's a loose cannon. And maybe she is-" Kate reached out without looking back and grabbed the fist that Jack had aimed at her head. "But she's also a strong team member. She's also extremely loyal. Maybe not to you, and certainly not to Cerberus as a whole, but neither am I. But, when it comes down to it, she's not going to leave her squad-mates to die in a firefight."

Miranda and Jack just stood and gawked at Kate for a moment. Then Jack stormed out of Miranda's office, muttering a litany of curses as she went.

"Thank you, Shepard," Miranda said as she began straightening her office. It almost looked worse than the Loft had after Horizon.

"I wasn't kidding, Miranda," Kate said quietly, retrieving the chair from the hallway. "I don't expect you two to be friends, just as I don't expect the two of _us_ to be friends. But I do expect everyone on this ship to work as a team when it counts. If they can't do that, I don't want them on my ship. Got it?"

"Understood, Commander. Am I special or will the tattooed psycho be getting the same speech?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'll be talking to Jack as well, though I think I'll let her cool off a bit first. I think I'll take her when Grunt and I go down to Tuchanka."

Miranda smirked. "Oh yeah. She'll fit right in with the krogan."

* * *

Kate, Jack and Grunt weren't the only ones to disembark when the Normandy landed on the krogan homeworld. Joker, Garrus and Zaeed tagged along as well, wanting to catch up with Wrex. After the second trip to Omega, Kate had seemed like her old self and Zaeed had stopped worrying so much. He didn't worry at all when Kate and Mordin went off with no backup to rescue the doc's former student. They came back looking none-too-pleased but neither wanted to talk about it, so he left it alone.

After Kate and Jack went off with Grunt and the shaman to complete the tank-bred's Rite of Passage, Wrex grilled Zaeed, Garrus and Joker about what had been happening in the last few months.

"Was there some reason we never just went up to Harkin and snapped him in half back then?" he asked an hour later. He glanced at Garrus. The turian shook his head and shrugged.

"I was wondering the same thing myself," Zaeed growled.

"It was because Kate didn't want you guys to get arrested," Joker said. "I'm pretty sure grievous bodily injury on a C-Sec officer, no matter how much of an ass he is, is grounds for jail time. And she didn't have friends in C-Sec back then, hence the problems."

"So? She was a Spectre. She could have gotten them out of jail on the grounds of galactic security or something," Zaeed countered, though he knew the pilot was right.

Wrex suddenly looked up and started laughing. The others turned to see what was so amusing.

Grunt was coming back from the arena, carrying Kate under one arm, Jack under the other. Both women were cheering and laughing despite the numerous acid burns they were both sporting (Grunt had his share as well) and the fact that both were missing approximately half of their armor. Grunt reached the dais and Kate and Jack dropped to the ground.

"What the hell happened to you three?" Zaeed asked.

"Varren, klixen and... a thresher maw," Jack said with a grin.

"I've taken out my share of maws in my time," Kate said, "but never on foot without the option of the Mako. Well, except that one time."

"Yeah, but that was because you crashed the damn thing before we got to the nest, so we couldn't use the Mako's guns," Wrex countered with a wink.

"We also made it back to the Normandy _in our armor_," Garrus said. "I'm pretty certain this is what's going to push Dr. Chakwas over the edge. She's going to end up locking you in the med-bay for the rest of the mission."

Kate scoffed. "Whatever. I'm not scared of her."

Zaeed and Garrus grinned. Kate was back.


	17. Chapter 17

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all****. **

* * *

"Commander, you've got an incoming call from Admiral Hackett," Joker called over the comm. "And he said don't even think about not answering. It's urgent."

Kate rolled her eyes as she stepped away from the galaxy map toward the elevator. "Transfer it to the Loft please."

She paced in front of her desk as the vid-comm flickered and Hackett's face appeared on the screen.

"For the record, I wasn't planning on not answering, Dad. What's up?"

"I need a favor," Hackett said. "I've got a situation that only someone with your unique talents can handle."

"When have I heard _that_ line before?" Kate muttered sarcastically. "Oh right. Nearly every single day since Elysium."

He sighed. "I'm serious, Katie."

"Sorry."

"I've got a friend, Dr. Amanda Kenson, who's been working undercover in batarian space."

Kate quirked an eyebrow. "A 'friend,' Dad?"

Hackett rolled his eyes. "Yes, she's just a friend. Unlike you, I don't fraternize."

She felt like he'd just slapped her. "That was _low_, Dad," she said quietly.

The admiral shook his head. "I'm sorry, Katie. I don't know where that came from."

She waved him off. "No, I'm... After what happened with Kaidan, I more than deserved that. Anyway, you were saying about Dr. Kenson working in batarian space?"

"About twelve hours ago, we received word that the doctor and several of her crew had been arrested by the batarians."

"Shit. On what grounds?"

"Terrorism."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "And you want me to do what?"

"I need you to go in and pull her out. Alone."

"I see. Is there some reason you can't get another N7 to do it? One that hasn't pissed off the entire Alliance?"

"I could, yes. And I will if I have to. Does that mean you're saying no?"

"No, I'll do it," Kate said. "I was just wondering why me and not someone else. I'm not the only person in the galaxy capable of breaking into a prison."

"I'm asking you because of what she was working on: evidence of an imminent reaper invasion."

"Oh."

"And because I trust you, and not just because you're my daughter."

"Fair enough." Kate shook her head and sighed. "Going in alone. This will not end well."

"That part is non-negotiable, Katie. One person infiltrating the prison won't raise suspicion. More than that could end up starting a war."

She nodded. "I completely understand the need for the solo mission. It's just, given the way most of my missions have gone the last couple of months, I don't see a great ending on this one."

Hackett raised an eyebrow. "Would that explain all the new scars and... are those burns from thresher maw acid?"

"Yes, yes they are. That one was actually fun. And one of the few that went mostly according to plan. Except for the half-melted armor."

Hackett sighed. "Only you and your crew would classify taking on thresher maws as 'fun'."

"While on foot," she added with a grin.

"Christ," he muttered. "I've done some stupid things in my time, but I never even thought about doing something that stupid."

She shrugged. "I was on Tuchanka."

"Ah. That explains everything," Hackett said, rolling his eyes. "You and Wrex getting into trouble again?"

Kate laughed. "He was there, but wasn't directly involved in this particular adventure. I'll tell you all about it later. If I make it back from this thing in one piece."

"You will."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad. Send Joker the coordinates. I'll head for the prison ASAP."

"Already sent. And thank you, Katie. Hackett out."

* * *

"Have you lost your goddamn mind?" Zaeed asked incredulously.

Kate shook her head and said nothing as she sat cross-legged on the end of her bed, watching him pace furiously up and down the room.

"You aren't part of the Alliance anymore," he continued. "You don't answer to them. Or had you forgotten the part where they branded you a traitor?"

She growled. "Fuck! Will you stop with the pacing? You're driving me nuts." She reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him down onto the bed with her. "Look, Z. I know the past few months have been stressful as hell, but I am more than capable of doing things on my own. I trained for missions like this. Besides, I'm not doing this for the Alliance. If it was them asking, I would have told them to fuck off and we wouldn't be having this... conversation. This is a favor for my dad. Period."

Zaeed took one of her hands in both of his and kissed her palm and then her wrist. "I know you can do it, Kate. I just... I don't want to lose you again. In case you hadn't noticed, I kinda like you," he said with a smile.

Kate smirked as she pushed him onto his back and straddled his hips. "Really? I _never_ would have guessed," she said as she kissed him. "I kinda like you too. But I promise, I'll be careful. In and out; with luck, the batarians will never know I was ever there."

"That doesn't make me feel any better, kitten," Zaeed said as he tangled his fingers in her hair, pulling her closer and looking up into her eyes. "If these last couple of months have proven anything, it's that Lady Luck is not your friend."

* * *

Getting into the prison and rescuing Dr. Kenson had been exceptionally easy and relatively painless. Except that one varren bite; that was going to hurt for a bit. Kate should have known it wouldn't have been as easy getting back out. Even with the doctor to help, they had a couple of close calls getting to the shuttle.

But she'd take escaping the prison 1000 times over what was happening now. She still couldn't believe it: a Reaper artifact just sitting, unshielded, in the middle of Dr. Kenson's base. The doctor had claimed she and her team weren't indoctrinated, but Kate wasn't fooled. _Not weak-minded like Saren, my ass,_ she thought as she dove behind a low wall to avoid the guards on the other side of the room.

At least this time, she'd been able to find her armor and guns when she escaped the med-lab. No way Chakwas could yell at her this time. Except for the stupidity of going on this damn mission. _Dad, if I get out of here alive, I'm going to kill you_, Kate thought as she took out two guards with her sniper rifle.

An hour and a couple of gunshot wounds later, Kate found herself on the landing pad outside the base. _Sonofabitch! They've got a__nother__ fucking heavy mech? Fuck me and my life. _

Taking out the heavy mech took out the rest of the guards as well and Kate was able to limp to the communications tower. "Normandy! I need pick-up right the fuck now! Joker? Can you hear me?"

"Finally! You were supposed to be back two days ago!" Joker said over the comm. "Coming in now."

Two minutes later, the Normandy was hovering above her. Jacob and Zaeed jumped out and dragged her into the airlock. As soon as she was in, she screamed "I'm in! Go! Sol, Arcturus, Omega. Anywhere that's not here! Now!" before she collapsed in Zaeed's arms and darkness enveloped her.

* * *

Kate woke from a nightmare-plagued sleep several hours later to find Zaeed sitting by her bed in the med-bay. She sat up slowly and groaned. "Did I get run over by the ghost of the Mako when I wasn't looking?"

He smirked. "That really wouldn't surprise me, kitten. Other than that, how do you feel?"

"Well, I'm not having nightmares about fucking Reaper invasions every time I close my eyes now, so there's that." She squinted as she looked towards the end of the room, where it appeared that Dr. Chakwas and Admiral Hackett were talking together. "But I think I may be hallucinating now. I could swear the doc is standing in the doorway conspiring with my dad."

Zaeed laughed. "I don't know about conspiracy, but you're not seeing things; the admiral is actually here."

"Really? Where the hell did we end up?"

Before Zaeed could respond, Hackett started walking towards them.

"Everybody out," he said. His voice left no room for argument.

Ever the stubborn one, Dr. Chakwas decided to try anyway. "Steven, are you actually kicking me out of my own med-bay?" she asked with a defiant look on her face. "This isn't an Alliance ship. You can't-"

"Don't start with me, Karin," the admiral growled. "Just get out."

Zaeed kissed Kate and then wordlessly dragged the irate doctor with him as he quickly left the room, locking the door behind them. She might have been willing to argue with the admiral but he wasn't, at least not right then.

* * *

Hackett leaned against the bed across from Kate's and folded his arms across his chest, looking at her with concern. "How-"

"If one more person asks me how I feel, I'm going to scream," she said quietly. "You sent me in there alone to avoid starting a war with the batarians. And I ended up starting one anyway. How the fuck do you think I feel?"

"Katie, you bought us time to prepare for the Reapers."

"At the cost of 300,000 civilian lives," she countered. "And I only delayed the inevitable. We'll never be ready for the invasion."

"Someone has to make the decision that gets people killed," he said firmly. "300,000 lost versus trillions saved."

Kate shook her head. "Stop trying to make sense of this, Dad. The bottom line is, a shitload of people are dead and the galaxy is still fucked."

Hackett hesitated. "The batarian government is out for blood."

She scoffed. "That's nothing new. They've wanted to get to me since Terra Nova. Now they just have a more legit reason than me killing a bunch of mercs on a crusade."

"They want you arrested and brought to trial by their Hegemony. We told them in no uncertain terms that there was no way in hell that was ever happening. But you're still going to have to come back to Earth to stand trial there."

Kate nodded. "I know. Give me a few weeks and I'll turn myself in."

"Take all the time you need to finish what you're doing out here. Stopping the Collectors is still your top priority. And the admiralty knows you aren't going to run away. Just be ready when Earth calls."

She nodded and avoided his gaze, instead finding something of interest in the freckle in the middle of the N7 sniper tattoo on her left wrist. She knew this was going to be just like Elysium and the Battle for the Citadel. Her father could deal with scars and he could deal with the _idea_ of her being in a firefight, until he had to see any resulting injuries in person.

"I'm fine, Dad," she said after awhile.

Hackett shook his head. "I can clearly see that's a lie, Katie."

"You really are going to have to get used to this new-fangled notion that sometimes soldiers get injured."

"That's-"

She held up a hand. "No, Dad, listen to me. I've been a Marine for thirteen years, give or take two and half years for death and terrorist organizations. This isn't the first time I've gotten hurt and it sure as hell won't be the last time, especially once the Reapers get here. But this awkward shit can't continue. OK?"

He frowned. "Fine. I'll deal," he said after a minute. "Happy now?"

"Well, I'm not _un_happy," she said with a small smile. "So, what were you and Dr. Chakwas talking about?"

He raised an eyebrow and answered her question with one of his own. "Are you always this bossy?"

"Yes, I think that would be the general consensus. Gee, I can't _imagine_ where I got that trait from," she said with a grin. "Plus, you kicked my doctor out and my pain meds are wearing off."


	18. Chapter 18

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all.**

**Thanks for the reviews and new follows! Y'all rock!**

* * *

_From: Kate Shepard  
To: Steven Hackett  
Subject: O-4R  
Time for some payback. The Collectors boarded the Normandy, took Dr. Chakwas + Joker's crew. We're getting them back right now. Going through the relay in less than two hours.  
Just thought I'd let you know before you see it on the vids.  
Katie_

_From: Steven Hackett  
To: Kate Shepard  
Subject: Be Careful  
Come back alive. That's an order.  
Dad_

_From: Kate Shepard  
To: Steven Hackett  
Subject: Success!  
Collectors: 0; Me: 2  
Katie_

* * *

"To Jacob Taylor!" Kate said as she stood on top of the bar in the lounge. "A damn fine soldier and a friend we'll sorely miss."

"To Jacob!" the crew chimed in as they downed their whiskey.

They'd done it. They'd hit the Collectors and everyone had lived to tell about it. Well, almost everyone. Jacob was dead; he'd gone down fighting while getting Dr. Chakwas and the crew back to the Normandy. But the doctor and Joker's entire crew had made it because of him, so he'd died a hero in Kate's book.

And now they were free from Cerberus. First, Miranda had surprised the hell out of everyone when she tendered her resignation to the Illusive Man right there in the Collector base. Then the second they were safe on the other side of the relay, Kate had told him to go to hell. _We might be free for the moment, but damn if payback isn't going to be a bitch in the long run,_ Kate thought as she watched her crew mingling together.

Now she just had to figure out how much time she had left until she had to go to Earth. And what to do with her crew when she did. She'd be damned if she was going to let the Alliance get their hands on them, though she knew she wouldn't have a choice in taking Joker. There was also a damn good chance they were going to strip her ship... Joker's ship. She may be the captain of the damn thing, but it was his ship. And he was gonna be pissed.

Project Overlord proved to be a good distraction from her impending incarceration. Or _a_ distraction, at least. There was nothing _good_ about what they'd found at that place. Kate had seen a lot of evil in her time, but the torture Dr. Archer had put his own brother through, just to be able to talk to the fucking geth? Sonofabitch was lucky to still be standing. If she'd had her way, she'd have put a bullet in the doc's brain and left him to rot. But she'd had more important things to think about, like getting David as far away from his brother as quickly as possible. That proved to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. She dropped him off at Grissom Academy. But during the trip, Jack had taken a shine to the kid, so Kate left her there as well. One down, oh so many to go.

Miranda, Mordin, Samara and Kasumi disappeared somewhere on Illium after the Normandy stopped there for one last party. A stop on Tuchanka meant the loss of Garrus and Grunt, though Kate knew the turian wouldn't stay long. He'd be off to Palaven at some point to visit his family.

That only left the remainder of the humans and Thane.

At Thane's suggestion, they headed once more for the Citadel.


	19. Chapter 19

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all****.  
Thanks to pixelatrix for all the help on this chapter.  
And thanks for the review and new fav. =)**

* * *

_Had an errand to run, left early. Meet for dinner, 2100h, Dark Star. Alone. _

Kate grinned as she read Zaeed's message. Boring though the day promised to be, at least she had the night to look forward to. The Normandy and her remaining crew had been on the Citadel for three days as one by one they made arrangements either to stay on the station or find transport to their home colonies. Though she tried, Kate couldn't convince Dr. Chakwas to leave, so she was coming with her and Joker when they made the trip to Earth. Whenever that was. The last time she'd talked to Anderson, he'd indicated she'd probably have no more than two weeks of freedom left. And she intended to make the most of every moment.

The day passed slowly, but finally Kate found herself outside the Dark Star Lounge. In Garrus' absence, Thane had taken to following her around everywhere, as much the over-protective bodyguard as Garrus and Zaeed had ever been, but she'd managed to shake him off at C-Sec as Kolyat was getting off of his shift as they passed by.

She looked around the lounge but didn't see Zaeed anywhere, so she walked up to the bar and the turian standing behind it. "Have you seen Massani? I was-"

The bartender nodded. "He's got a table in the back. I should warn you, he's forbidden me from serving you any ryncol, so don't even ask," he added with a twitch of his mandibles. "Said something about you having a two-day hangover and not being able to remember anything last time."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Thought I was supposed to be having _fun_ tonight. Where's the fun in no ryncol?"

_That damn turian is laughing at me_, she thought as she made her way towards the back of the lounge. Finally, she saw Zaeed sitting in a small corner booth.

"Glad you read the hidden meaning in my message," he said with a smirk as she slid into the seat next to him.

"Oh you mean 'bring anyone else with you and I'll shoot them'?" she teased.

"That's the one." He smiled at her. "Everyone else takes up so much of your time lately. But tonight, you're mine. No interruptions from the crew, no more missions. Just us," he said, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in close as he kissed her.

"I could get used to this," she said as she snuggled into his arms. "I wish we could just stay like this forever."

"Me too, kitten."

"So where did you disappear to?" she asked after awhile. "I didn't see you all day."

Zaeed shrugged. "I had something to pick up."

"All day?"

He chuckled. "Yes. All day. But if you keep pestering me about it, I'm not going to give it to you."

She looked at him in surprise. "It... you bought something for _me_?"

He said nothing as he pulled a box from his jacket pocket and put it on the table.

She opened it and gasped. Inside was a silver necklace with a pendant shaped like- "Is this... _Jessie_?" she whispered as she took the necklace from the box and turned the gun-shaped pendant over in her fingers.

"It is." He brushed her hair aside and gently kissed her neck as he put the necklace on her. "A reminder that no matter how bad things may seem, something good can come of it. Or something like that."

Kate smiled. "I love it." She reached up and unhooked her melted tags and pressed them into his hand. "I want you to have them. So you'll always have a part of me close to your heart."

Zaeed opened his mouth to say something and quickly shut it again as a look surprise crossed his face. Kate looked over her shoulder to see what he was looking at and saw her father walking towards them.

"Crap," Zaeed muttered.

"What? You're not scared of my dad are you?"

He rolled his eyes. "'Course not. I was just hoping not to run into _anyone_ tonight."

Kate laughed. "Uh-huh. So that's why you picked the most popular club on the Citadel for a supposedly quiet date."

He shrugged. "Call me an optimist."

Hackett walked up then and laughed. "You are a lot of things, Massani, but an optimist isn't one of them."

"Hi Dad. What's up?" Kate asked with a smile.

"Nothing. Just talked to Anderson, he said you were here. Thought I'd-" Kate could practically see the light-bulb go on over his head. "How long have you two been together?"

"I think it was shortly after I broke Kaidan's jaw," she said with a tight smile. "If he didn't get the message we were broken up then, he's an idiot."

"Well, he did send you that e-mail a couple of weeks later," Zaeed reminded her. "And yes, I'd say he's an idiot."

"Seems I owe your pilot some money," Hackett said with a smirk.

"Oh for fuck's sake. Not you too!" Kate rolled her eyes. "Why me? What the hell did I ever do to deserve this?" She looked up at Hackett. "Oh crap. You're gonna have 'the talk' now aren't you?"

"Well-"

"You never talked to Kaidan, Dad," she pointed out as she got up and stood beside the table.

"Clearly, I should have," Hackett said soberly.

"And that's my cue to go bribe the bartender into giving me all the ryncol he has in stock," Kate muttered as she walked away. There was no way in hell she was sticking around for _that_ conversation.


	20. Chapter 20

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all****. **

* * *

"Who the hell is _that_?" Zaeed asked Kate as she and Anderson re-boarded the Normandy with their new acquisition. The hulking mass of muscles who trailed behind Anderson looked like a human-heavy mech hybrid.

"Lt. James Vega. My... guard," Kate said quietly, letting Anderson and Vega pass them into the CIC. She had to bite back a laugh when she saw the furious look on Zaeed's face. "Oh my God. You're jealous!"

The mercenary growled. "I don't do jealous, kitten."

"The hell you don't. Remember Bekenstein?"

"That was... I wasn't jealous. I was... you were a goddamn tease in that dress."

She smirked. "Don't blame me. That was all Kasumi's fault. And so this, right now, is what?"

He faltered for a second. "Concern... for-"

They heard a snort of laughter behind them. "Face it, Massani," Joker said with an amused grin on his face. "You can't stand the fact that Vega's gonna get to watch Kate 24/7 for who knows how long and there's not a damn-"

"Zip it, fly-boy," Zaeed snarled.

Kate steered him away from the cockpit before they could do more than yell at each other. She still needed her pilot in one piece to get them back to Earth.

"Look, why don't you meet him? You'll see, he's really nice."

Zaeed glared in Vega's general direction. "That's what I'm afraid of, Kate."

She rolled her eyes. "Again I refer back to Bekenstein. They can flirt all they want; I'm never going to take the bait."

"What about Alenko?"

"That was different. That was me from the beginning. Didn't stop him from flirting back, eventually, but I started it."

He sighed. "Alright. Fine. I'll meet the giant."

Kate giggled. "Thank you."

They walked over to the elevator where Anderson and Vega were talking.

"Massani, why are you still here?" the councilor asked bitingly. "The rest of Shepard's crew left the ship a week ago."

Kate put a warning hand on Zaeed's chest, knowing he was about to start yelling at Anderson. "He's here because there's no reason for him not to be," she said, matching Anderson's tone. "This is still _my_ ship until we reach Earth; therefore I still have final say who can and cannot be aboard."

Anderson balked. "I-"

"Don't worry, Councilor, I'll be off the damn ship before we reach Earth," Zaeed said. "Wouldn't want to put a kink in your perfect plans."

Anderson looked as if he were about to say something else; instead he turned and walked into the elevator, hitting the button for the crew deck with a little more intensity than necessary.

"_Pendejos._"

Kate and Zaeed turned to see Vega glaring at the closed elevator doors.

"Not a fan of our esteemed councilor, Lt. Vega?" Kate asked with an amused smile. He gave her a questioning look and she grinned. "I grew up in Dallas; I know my way around Spanish."

"Sorry, Commander. I just... this whole situation is messed up."

"No apologies needed," she said. "Anyway, Lt. Vega, this is Zaeed Massani. I just thought you two should... meet."

Vega raised an eyebrow. "Why is that exactly?"

"She's under the delusion that if I meet you I won't want to kill you," Zaeed said gruffly.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Sorry, LT. He's just having a little trouble adjusting to this whole thing."

Vega looked from one to the other. "I... am so lost."

"Oh right. Context would be helpful," she said with a laugh. "Zaeed is my... uh..."

The mercenary wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest. "It's not complicated, Vega. Just keep your hands off my girl, and keep her safe, and we won't have a problem."

Vega looked surprised. "I... OK?"

"Anyway," Kate said after several moments of uncomfortable silence. "So, I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about. If you promise not to kill each other?" She glared at Zaeed and he shrugged. "Hell, maybe you could bond over your love of getting inked."

Zaeed laughed. "Uh-huh. Look who's talking."

The lieutenant looked intrigued. "Really Commander? You've got tats?"

"I have several," she said with a grin. "Including a few you don't have a prayer of seeing, Vega."

"Damn right," Zaeed growled. "My eyes only."

"Oh this is gonna be a _long_ trip," Kate muttered as she walked away, leaving her old bodyguard to bond with her new one.


	21. Chapter 21

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all.**

* * *

_Six Months Later..._

"Good luck in there, Shepard."

Kate smiled. "_Gracias por todo_, James."

"So that's the _cabrón_ who broke Lola's heart, huh?" he asked, looking past her.

Kate looked over her shoulder at the man currently talking to Admiral Anderson. "Yeah, that's him. Obviously, I've moved past it. He might be a little touchy on the subject though."

James laughed. "Wait. Is_ that_ how Alenko broke his jaw? _Dios_. We all heard about that, but no one knew how it had happened. Just _when_ it happened."

She grinned. "What can I say? I've got a mean left hook." The grin disappeared as Kaidan looked in her direction. "_Mierda_!" She turned to James and hissed, "Please, for the love of God, do _not_ let me do something stupid."

James smirked. "You're the boss, Lola."

They walked over to Kaidan and Anderson. "Did I hear right? You're a Major now?" she asked.

Kaidan nodded. "Yeah. Biotics division."

"Congrats," Kate said with what she hoped was a genuine-looking smile.

"You hadn't heard, Shepard?" Anderson asked.

She took a deep breath before she answered, but her voice still had a bite to it. "No, I didn't, since _someone_ thought it was a good idea to keep me in a media blackout for the last six months."

Before Anderson could answer, an aide came up to them and ushered the admiral and Kate into the committee room.

The next few minutes passed by in a blur. But Kate didn't hear anything after the aide looked over at them and said, "Admiral, we've lost all communication with everything beyond the Sol Relay." Her hand automatically went to the pendant at her throat, praying that Zaeed was OK, wherever the hell he was, and her father and Joker's family on Arcturus.

Anderson squeezed her shoulder and she realized one of the committee members had asked her a question.

"What do we do?" the man asked again, a look of desperation on his face that was matched by those on the rest of the committee.

Kate looked from the screen displaying the destruction of the reaper invasion to the committee members sitting high above her. "What do we _do_?" she repeated, trying her hardest not to have an _I told you so _look on her face. "We stand and fight. Or we die."

Suddenly, that didn't matter anymore as a Reaper landed just outside the Command Centre and cut a path of destruction through the middle of building. Kate and Anderson ran for cover, but she was thrown violently against the back wall. The next thing she knew, Anderson's voice, which sounded very far away, was calling her name. She opened her eyes and saw him kneeling beside her.

"Shepard, you OK?"

She winced as she sat up, felt pain in her arm and shook her head. "I'm-" She looked around the room. "Well, I'm a lot better than them, at least," she said, nodding towards the committee members who now lay dead around the room.

"Alright, up you get. We've got to get the hell out of here," Anderson said, helping Kate to her feet.

Half an hour later, she was back on the Normandy. She had never been so happy to see her ship and hear Joker's voice than she had when he'd landed near her and Anderson as they fought off a seemingly endless wave of batarian Reapers.

"If people could please stop shooting me, I'd be ever so grateful," she said as she walked up the ramp into the shuttle bay. Her right wrist had been broken in the initial attack at the Command Centre and one of the batarian fuckers had shot her in the shoulder during that last firefight.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Joker on the comm. "We've got an incoming message from Alliance HQ."

Waving off Kaidan, who was trying to get a look at her injured shoulder, Kate ran to the nearest terminal and hit the button to answer the call. Relief washed over her when a distorted image of Admiral Hackett appeared on the screen.

"Thank God! I was... I knew the bastards must have passed by Arcturus on their way to Earth and..."

"I wasn't on the station, Katie," Hackett said quietly. "I'm glad to see you're still in one piece."

"Nearly got vaporized by two different Reapers, but yeah. I'm OK. We're on our way to the Citadel, talk to the Council, for whatever good that'll do."

Hackett shook his head. "I need you to do something first, before you leave Sol, before it gets over-run by the Reapers. I need you to go to Mars. Dr. T'Soni was... is... researching in the Prothean Archives there. But we lost communication with her and the station when the Reapers invaded."

"Got it. Mars. Liara."

"You have a team who can fight? No idea what you'll find down there."

Kate nodded. "I've got Major Alenko and Lt. Vega. They were in the Command Centre when it was hit, went the opposite way that Anderson and I went."

"Alright, then get down there and see what's going on."

"Yes, sir." She saluted.

"And Katie? Welcome back to the Alliance," Hackett said with a smile as he returned the salute. "Hackett out."


	22. Chapter 22

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all****.  
Thanks for the review, new fav/follow!**

* * *

"What the _hell_ did you just say to me?" Kate fumed. "Did you seriously just ask if _I_ knew anything about these _pendejos_ being on Mars?"

Kaidan shrugged. "Seems convenient is all."

"I am an Alliance Marine, Major Alenko. Why the _fuck_ would I want my own allies dead, executed no less?"

"I don't know who, or _what_, you are since you came back, Shepard. How do I know you're not still working for Cerberus, that you weren't still talking to the Illusive Man after you came back to Earth?"

Kate answered his allegations with another punch to his jaw, this one not as hard as the one on Horizon, as her injured shoulder protested the sudden violent movement.

James stepped between them, afraid Kaidan might respond in kind, given the anger that burned in the major's eyes.

"Look. I've been with the Commander since a week before she returned to Earth," he said firmly, looking Kaidan dead in the eye. "She hasn't been in contact with _anyone_ outside the Command Centre, except Admiral Hackett, in six months. And I know you're not-"

Kate could see Kaidan grinding his teeth as James spoke. "No, Lieutenant, I'm _not_ accusing the head of the Alliance military of being in league with Cerberus," he said fiercely.

"Just his daughter," she shot back. "But thank Heaven for small miracles. Otherwise, I think I'd just have to shoot you."

James gave her a bewildering look. "Commander, don't take this the wrong way, but shut up, _por favor_."

"Bite me, James."

He smirked. "Don't tempt me, Lola." He turned to face both of them. "Now, will you two quit trying to kill each other long enough for us to get to this doctor you're looking for?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Fine."

Kaidan shrugged. "If you insist."

James shook his head as they walked through the doors. "Fuckin' pair of six year-olds," he muttered.

A commotion in the air ducts above them stopped the three Marines in their tracks. Suddenly, Liara and two Cerberus troopers came tumbling through the grate several feet away. James quickly yanked Kate back against him as he ducked behind a crate with Kaidan. She carefully peered around the edge to watch as Liara pulled the two troopers into a singularity and then shot them. When the two men were dead, Kate carefully extracted herself from James' grasp and walked towards Liara.

The asari's face broke into a wide smile when she saw her. "Kate! I am relieved to see you are well," she said as the two friends hugged. "When I heard about Earth, I feared the worst."

"We're fine, Liara," Kate said with a small smile. "Better off than most, anyway."

"We?" Liara looked around in confusion.

"Right. Boys, you can come out now; she's not gonna bite," Kate called over her shoulder. James and Kaidan trudged out from their hiding place.

Liara frowned at the bruise that was darkening on the side of Kaidan's face. "Kate, you didn't..."

Kaidan held up a hand. "Don't start," he said quietly. "I'm just glad to see you in one piece."

Liara gave him a quick hug. "Same to you, Kaidan."

* * *

"OK, what is wrong with you two?" Liara asked five minutes later when James left to retrieve the Kodiak. She looked at Kate and Kaidan with a mixture of concern and fury. "You're not the same people you were three years ago. I _get_ that. And in the grand scheme of things, your fight wouldn't matter. But now, we're at war with the Reapers. So for Goddess' sake, pull yourselves together. Leave your fighting for the Reapers. You can hate and distrust each other all you want if and when we live to see the end of this war."

Kaidan and Kate gawked at the normally painfully-shy archaeologist. In all the time they'd known her, she'd never said this many words at once, at least not about personal topics. Nor had she ever spoken so forcefully. They looked at each other and nodded.

"I can do that," Kate said.

"Me too," Kaidan agreed.

"Ok then. Let's get to the Archives," Liara said with a determined look on her face. "I want to get off of Mars."

* * *

"Please don't die," Kate said an hour later as she sat in the med-bay next to the cot where Kaidan lay in a coma. She ignored James' attempts to apply medi-gel to her shoulder and the shallow stab wound in her abdomen she'd acquired from the synthetic Cerberus bitch, the Illusive Man's newest toy, who had tried to kill Kaidan.

"Lola, _mírame_," James said firmly. She flicked her eyes in his direction before returning her attention to Kaidan. The lieutenant sighed. "You're not going to do Alenko or anybody else any favors if you aren't taking care of yourself too. Liara's got this situation well in hand 'til we get to the Citadel. Please, let someone help _you_ for a change."

Before she could respond in any way, EDI's voice interrupted. "Commander, Admiral Hackett is asking for an update on the QEC."

Kate muttered a curse under her breath as she gingerly stood up. "Thank you, EDI. Alright, James, have it your way. You help me not pass out before I finish talking to my dad and you can play doctor all you want 'til we get to the Citadel." She could feel him smirking behind her and turned to glare at him. "You _know_ what I mean."

James held up his hands. "I will be a perfect gentleman."

She rolled her eyes as they continued towards the comm room. _I need Zaeed back ASAP._


	23. Chapter 23

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all.  
Thanks for the review and new follow****s and ****fav :)**

* * *

James stood outside Kaidan's hospital room, waiting for Garrus, when he heard a gruff voice call his name. "Vega, what are you doing here?" The lieutenant spun around to see Zaeed stalking towards him, an angry look on his face. _Does he ever smile?_

As the mercenary drew level with him, James pointed towards the door behind him. "I'm here because they're here."

Zaeed looked through the window and the color drained from his face. Kaidan was lying on the bed, covered in dark bruises and monitoring equipment; Kate was asleep, curled up in a chair in the corner. Her left arm was in a sling, the shoulder covered in a bandage and her right wrist covered in a cast.

"What the fuck happened to them?" Zaeed asked in alarm.

"He got beat up by some Cerberus bot on Mars. She... got shot by a batarian-"

"You mean that thing you were supposed to protect her from?" Zaeed ground out between clenched teeth.

"-_R__eaper_ on Earth," James finished, rolling his eyes. "The wrist was because of a Reaper too. And I wasn't even there. She was with Anderson. Alenko and I were already on the ship. As for the rest of it, she got knocked off a barricade on Manae, broke her arm and a couple of ribs. She's also gonna scar from the same attack that took down Alenko."

"That doesn't sound _entirely_ serious," Zaeed said carefully. "Not 'confined to a hospital' serious, anyway. So why is she still here?"

"The short answer? Because she's stubborn." The mercenary raised an eyebrow and he continued. "The long answer is the docs just want to make sure she doesn't have any infection from the gunshot wound. The bullet stayed in a lot longer than it should, three days longer, because she wouldn't let anybody look at it 'til we got back from Palaven." James looked at Zaeed. "Why are _you_ here?"

"Just got in from Omega. Cerberus bastards over-ran the place. Aria took her frustrations out on Griz. I figured I was next in line for pain so I brought him up here to get checked out and to get away from her."

"Shit. Aria's _here _on the Citadel_?" _

Zaeed nodded. "Yeah. Down in Purgatory. Already set up her own throne and everything." He sighed heavily. "You think Kate will freak out if I went in there?" he asked, nodding towards the Commander's sleeping form.

James shrugged. "Probably, but it'd be more than worth it. She's keeping up appearances for the masses, but in private, she's been an absolute wreck since the Reapers hit, not knowing. Not even Garrus has been able to cheer her up. She needs _you_, to know you're alive."

* * *

Kate could tell she wasn't alone before she even opened her eyes. She was sure her mind was playing tricks on her again though. She could smell the pleasant and comforting aroma of Zaeed's cigars, but she dismissed it as remnants of the dream she'd been having.

She finally opened her eyes and let out a startled squeak as she found herself staring into his mismatched eyes as he crouched beside her chair.

"Are... are you real?" she blurted out stupidly. She reached out and brushed the fingertips of her right hand over his face as he leaned forward and captured her lips with his in a searing kiss.

"Yes, kitten, I'm real," he said when he pulled back and brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"Where have you been?" she asked quietly. "My dad said he hadn't heard from you in three months. I was... I thought..." She buried her face in his shoulder as she completely broke down.

He gently picked her up and sat in the chair as she settled on his lap. "I'm sorry, Kate. After you went to Earth, I went back to Omega, figured I could find some work there. I ended up working for Aria. Still am, actually."

"So why did you stop responding to my dad's messages?" She ran her fingers over the tags that still hung around his neck.

Zaeed sighed. "I didn't mean to. I went 'undercover,' sort of, and couldn't access my main account. But you know how paranoid your father is. He wouldn't respond to the messages from my dummy account."

"Oh." She pulled him into another kiss. "You're forgiven."

Zaeed chuckled. "Glad to hear it. So how long are you stuck in here? Lt. Steroids mentioned you having to stay for a bit. And why are you in _here_ specifically?"

"Basically, Liara went a little psycho on me and Kaidan, so we've decided, even though I still think he's an arrogant ass and he still doesn't trust me, to put our fight on hold. And then he had to go and get hurt, took a hit that was meant for me. But I'm only still here at the hospital in general because I fell asleep. Garrus was supposed to be bribing Dr. Michel to let me leave."

"So you're free for a drink? I absolutely refuse to go back to Purgatory without back-up," Zaeed said with a grimace.

Kate quirked an eyebrow. "Alright, who'd you piss off now?"  
He rolled his eyes. "Who said I pissed off anyone, kitten?"

"Fine. Then who are you avoiding? You needing back-up, especially an injured me _as_ your back-up, is highly suspicious," she said with a wink.

He gently set her on her feet and stood behind her, wrapping his arms carefully around her waist. "I guess you're just going to have to come with me and find out," he growled in her ear.

* * *

"You look like shit, Commander," Aria said as she lounged on a couch in Purgatory. "No offense."

Kate smirked. "None taken. I know I do. Well, at least now I know why Massani was hiding out at Huerta Memorial."

The asari rolled her eyes. "I'd wondered what the hell had taken him so long. He took Griz up there two hours ago and never came back. Guess he had a good excuse," she added with a knowing smile.

Kate ignored the look. "So what brings the Queen of Omega to the Citadel?"

"Your old pal, the Illusive Man," Aria said. "Bastard stole Omega from me. So I had no choice but to come here. But I'm going to get it back."

"Anything that involves revenge against Cerberus, count me in, even if it involves Omega," Kate said.

"Noted, Commander."


	24. Chapter 24

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all.  
Thanks for the review and new fav/follow :)**

* * *

_She ran through the burning trees, chasing after the child. "Stop! Let me help you!" she called to him. But each time she called out to him, he disappeared and she was left standing alone. Finally, she saw him again and gave chase once more. She skidded to a halt as she saw where the child was standing, directly in the path of a Reaper's deadly beam. "Run! Run towards me! Please!" she begged him. It was too late. She could do nothing but watch helplessly as he was swallowed up by the beam before it continued towards her._

"No!" Kate screamed as she bolted upright in bed, heart racing. She felt the bed shift as Zaeed sat up and his strong arms gently encircled her, pulling her back against his chest.

"You're safe, kitten," he whispered in her ear as he brushed strands of hair from her face. "Which one was it this time?"

She rested her head in the crook of his neck and absently scratched her blunt nails over the back of his hand. "This time, it's not me." She sighed. "There was this little boy back in Vancouver; I used to watch him playing every day outside my window. When I was escaping after the Reapers landed, I found him hiding in an air duct. I tried to convince him to come with us, but he ran off, further into the ducts. I saw him get onto a transport as the Normandy was leaving. The transport got destroyed as it was taking off, fucking disintegrated by a Reaper beam. He had looked me straight in the eye as he was getting on that transport, Z. Like he knew he was gonna die, that he could have trusted me to take care of him. And then, he was just... gone."

"You couldn't have saved him, Kate," Zaeed said after awhile. "Is this the first time you've had this one?"

She nodded slowly. "I hardly ever sleep without some kind of nightmare anymore. Not since the Reapers landed. But all the others have been about..." She trailed off into a whisper so soft he couldn't hear her.

"Kate?" He shifted her around and gently cupped her face in his hands. He saw the haunted look in her eyes and he knew then that her other nightmares had been about him. "All of them?" he asked quietly.

She nodded again. "Every single one since the day I left Earth. I was so scared when I couldn't reach you and my dad hadn't heard from you and... I was... I thought I'd lost you forever."

"You're not going to... I'm hard to kill; you of all people should know that, kitten," he said as he held her tight against his chest.

She buried her face in his shoulder and he felt her shaking. It took him a moment to realize she was laughing. "What the hell is so funny?" he asked indignantly.

"It's just... you and Garrus can't stand each other, yet you're basically the same person."

He frowned. "How's that exactly?"

Kate sat back and looked at him. "That... what you just said about being hard to kill? That's exactly what Garrus said to me when we met up with him on Manae."

"I see. So tell me something. If we're, as you say, basically the same person, what made you choose me over him?"

She didn't hesitate at all as she answered, "He and I could never have what you and I have, and not because he's a turian. Sure, we could date, but it wouldn't be much different than what I had with Kaidan. Or like what I had with Joker back before..."

"So what is it then?" Zaeed asked. He already knew the answer, had always known, but he needed to hear it from her.

She brushed her fingers over a tiny scar on his throat, where her thumbnail had gouged the skin when she'd punched him all those years ago. "You alone have seen me at my weakest, my most vulnerable. And you were there for me when no one else could be. I was completely broken, in many ways, and you helped pick up the pieces and made me whole again. No one else in the entire universe will ever be able to make that claim, nor would I want them to." She leaned in and kissed him. "I love you, Zaeed. I always have."

"I love you too, Kate," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I just wish we hadn't been too stubborn to see it all these years."


	25. Chapter 25

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all.**

* * *

"Dad, I have a bone to pick with you," Kate said without introduction.

"Uh, OK? What did I do now, Katie?" Hackett asked warily.

"You told me Zaeed stopped responding to your messages three months after I went to Earth."

"And?"

"I ran into him, or rather he found me, at Huerta Memorial and-"

Hackett looked at her with concern. "Why were you in the hospital, Katie?"

"Don't change the damn subject, Dad. He told me he had to stop using his main account, for the work he was doing, and when he sent you messages from the dummy account he set up, you never responded."

"How the hell was I supposed to know they were from him?"

Kate glared at her father. "If you had read the fucking messages, that might have given you a clue, Dad. Because of you and your goddamn paranoia, I had visions of him being blasted by Reapers every time I closed my eyes. It was getting to the point where I didn't want to sleep anymore because I couldn't take it."

"Christ. I'm sorry, Katie. Honestly, I had no idea."

"Yeah, well..."

"So, seriously. Why were you in the hospital?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You're really not gonna let that go, are you? Anyway, I believe Dr. Michel's official reason was 'treated for broken arm and two broken ribs; keeping for observation due to extreme levels of stubbornness and stupidity.'"

Hackett sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What did you do, Katie?"

"Nothing."

"I'm sorry?"

"That was the problem, according to Dr. Michel. You know, I got shot in the shoulder; well I kind of didn't do anything about it until after we got back from Palaven and I had to go in to get the bones set."

"Jessica Kathrine Shepard, what the hell is wrong with you? You realize you could have lost your arm doing something like that? Or even died?"

Kate had to bite back a laugh. "Did you just whole-name me like I was a three-year-old?"

It was Hackett's turn to glare. "I'm serious, Katie. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. I know it was stupid. I was just... I completely got knocked on my ass by the Reapers, then the thing with Kaidan and... I just didn't care about a stupid gunshot wound. Didn't seem important in the grand scheme of things. But then I saw Palaven and I realized just how big this whole thing is. That and James literally threw me over his shoulder and took me to the hospital once we got to the Citadel. He was a little pissed at me since he'd been trying to help since we left Mars and I wouldn't let him."

Hackett just stared at her for a moment. "You are the single most stubborn woman I've ever met, your mother and grandmother included."

Kate smirked. "Well I couldn't have gotten it all from the Shepard side."

"Alright, I'll admit I'm plenty stubborn myself," Hackett said with a laugh. "Please, Katie, please promise me you won't do anything that stupid again."

"I promise. As long as you promise to check all your messages from now on."

"I promise. Stay safe. I'll talk to you soon."

"You too, Dad. Shepard out."

* * *

Kate decided the Normandy was starting to feel just a bit crowded. An extremely tense meeting between the salarian dalatrass, turian primarch and Wrex had resulted in a trip to Sur'Kesh to pick up a fertile female krogan. Thankfully the dalatrass hadn't stuck around, or a repeat of the Krogan Rebellion might have happened. It was bad enough Primarch Victus was sticking around for the forseeable future. But at least she had Mordin back. He was confident that with both Wrex and the female, fondly nicknamed "Eve," he could create an actual cure for the goddamn genophage.

In addition to the aliens, the Normandy was also a temporary home for the students from Grissom Academy, including David Archer, and their instructor, Jack. Kate still couldn't believe the change she saw in her formerly very erratic friend. Jack was actually _responsible_ now, and she actually honestly cared for someone (a lot of someones) other than herself. But Kate realized after a couple of days, if she wanted to keep her responsible, she had to get Jack and the students off the ship. James had been eying the biotic since the moment she set foot onboard, due in no small part Kate guessed to the woman's numerous tattoos.

Just before they docked on the Citadel and everyone poured off the ship, Kate received a message from Kaidan, wanting to see her. And one from Aria, wanting to see her and Zaeed both. _Well that can't be good_, she thought as she made her way back to the hospital for the third time in a week. _What the hell could she possibly want with both of us?_

Kate pushed Aria to the back of her mind when she reached Huerta Memorial. She made plans with Zaeed, Garrus and James to meet them in Purgatory in fifteen minutes, half an hour at most. All three made her swear to every deity ever known that, no matter what Kaidan might say, she wouldn't punch him again. In return, she made the three of them swear they would stay out of drinking contests, particularly with each other and _especially_ where ryncol was involved. She didn't have the funds to rebuild the entire bar if things got out of hand.

* * *

"Hey Shepard. Glad you stopped by," Kaidan said as Kate walked into his room. He raised an eyebrow when he saw the cast on her arm. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Reapers on Manae. Palaven looks just as bad, if not worse than Earth," she said.

"Damn. I've seen a lot of turians come through here, but I had no idea things were that bad."

"Anyway, can we talk about something else, anything that's not Reapers?" Kate asked as she sat down beside his bed. "Please?"

"Alright," he said with a smirk. "A little birdie told me you came to visit me while I was unconscious. She said you stayed for hours."

"Damn you, Chloe Michel," she muttered. She looked at Kaidan. "Yeah well, that little birdie got mad at me for not treating my shoulder, so after she patched me up and set my arm, she made me stay at the hospital, watching for infection or some other lame-ass excuse. I didn't want to sit in the waiting room, wanted to avoid having to talk to people I guess, so I came in here. Ended up falling asleep."

"Well isn't that sweet," Kaidan said, trying hard not to laugh. "I didn't say anything embarrassing while I was out did I?"

"Not that I know of. You were completely out, which was probably good. Otherwise you'd have gotten an earful and an eyeful of..." Kate paused. This was going to get awkward.

"What? What happened?"

Kate didn't say anything.

Kaidan finally asked the question that had been on his mind since he woke up. "Was there something between you and Zaeed?"

The question hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity.

When Kate finally spoke, her voice was filled with venom. "Do you have _any_ idea what seeing you on Horizon did to me, Kaidan?"

"Yes, Kate, I have a vague idea. You broke my jaw."

"Well, _you_ broke my heart. I didn't care if you had moved on; I was dead, why should I care? Then you stood there and called me a fucking _traitor_. That part, I could live with, I guess. But then you said I had betrayed not only the Council and the Alliance, but my _family_ and _you_. You never let me explain anything. At all. I wasn't with Cerberus by choice. If you want to blame someone for my being with Cerberus, blame Liara. She was the one who quite literally put my body in their hands."

Kaidan scoffed. "You could have left Cerberus at any time, Kate. They can't touch you."

"Really? You think people can just walk away from the Illusive Man without consequences? I was basically a free-range prisoner, Kaidan. I could go wherever and do whatever I wanted, but he had eyes and ears on me at all times."

"But-"

"And I've seen with my own eyes what he does to people who try to leave Cerberus. It's not pretty. Hell, look what they did to _you_."

Kaidan grimaced. "Please, don't remind me."

"You know that should have been me, right?"

He avoided her gaze. "I tried to apologize after Horizon, Kate."

"With an e-mail," Kate said flatly.

"Again, I refer to the broken jaw. And you never actually answered my question."

"We broke up, Kaidan. If you didn't get that from the punch to the jaw, then I can't really help you."

"That's not a 'no,' Kate."

"Who I may or may not be sleeping with now is really none of your goddamn business." Kate stood up abruptly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for a meeting with Aria."


	26. Chapter 26

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all.  
****Thanks for the review and new follow :)  
A/N: Apologies for the wonky spacing earlier. Seems to be fixed now :)  
**

* * *

Zaeed was gone again. Aria had stolen him away for some secret mission. He'd only agreed because, if successful, it would bring in much-needed allies for the war. And Kate had been perfectly fine with the situation, at first. But right now, she really needed him. A fact which made her incredibly angry at herself because she knew how selfish she was being when so many had lost so much already.

The latest missions had been completely successful, but too many had sacrificed themselves to make them so. The primarch's son had sacrificed himself to disable a bomb on Tuchanka, avoiding war between the turians and krogan. Wreav, Wrex' s half-brother, had stayed behind to hold off rachni Reapers to allow the rest of the team to get to the genophage deployment site. And Mordin had sacrificed himself to allow the cure to be made possible. Her last image of her favorite salarian, the one that would remain in her memory forever, was of him singing patter songs as he went up the elevator inside the exploding tower. An exploding tower from which Kate had barely escaped herself.

The moment the shuttle docked with the Normandy, Kate was in the elevator, brushing off Garrus and James' attempts to talk to her. She exited on the crew deck, bypassing the med-bay, though she knew Dr. Chakwas was going to have angry words with her later. At the moment, she didn't care. If she couldn't find comfort with Zaeed, she was going to get drunk. She made her way to the lounge and locked the door, heading straight for the bar.

* * *

"EDI, it's been hours. She's not answering our messages, she won't let us in. I'm worried," James said as he and Garrus stood impatiently outside the lounge's still-locked door three hours later.

"I'm sorry, Lt. Vega, but scans of the room do not indicate that the Commander is in any immediate danger. I will not open the door."

Garrus growled. "Remember Horizon, EDI? Remember how we talked about 'actual emergencies'?"

"Yes, Mr. Vakarian."

"This is one of those."

"Very well. However, if Shepard is not positive in her response to your invasion of her privacy, I will reserve the right to say 'I told you so.'" Garrus and James could almost hear the eye-roll in EDI's voice. She'd been spending too much time with Joker.

"We reserve the same right if the opposite is true," Garrus said with a smirk as the door was unlocked.

"_Mierda_," James muttered as they walked into the lounge. Innumerable glasses littered the floor and bar, all of them empty. Kate was nowhere to be seen. "Lola? Where are you?"

The only response was a groan from the other side of the bar. The two men ran over to find Kate lying on the floor, only semi-conscious. James hauled her up and slung her over his shoulder as he and Garrus made their way to the elevator.

"Niiiiice ass," she drawled.

"_Gracias_," James replied with a smirk she couldn't see. "You just now notice, Lola?"

"Nooooope. I've just never been close enough toooo-"

James felt her fingers brush against his ass, but not in a flirting way. "Lola? You still with us?" He pulled Kate back over his shoulder so she was nestled in his arms. "Nope, she's out."

"And so are you," Garrus said sternly. " Massani will have a bullet with your name on it if he ever finds out you were alone with Kate while she was passed out. And another with _my_ name on it for allowing it to happen."

The elevator reached the top floor. Garrus took Kate from James and hit the button to open her door. With a nod, James stepped back into the elevator and hit the button for the crew deck again.

Garrus walked into the room and settled the Commander on her bed and settled him self on the couch to send a message to Zaeed.

_From: G. Vakarian  
To: Z. Massani  
Subject: Good and Bad  
Mordin cured the genophage just like he said he would. But he died in the process. Kate's not handling it well. At all. She drank every drop of ryncol Wrex left on the ship and then passed out on the way up to the Loft. I'm not sure even _you_ could have prevented this reaction. You know how close they were.  
We're headed to the Citadel. The salarian councilor wants to meet with Kate. I just hope she's sobered up by the time we get there.  
GV_


	27. Chapter 27

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all****. **

* * *

"'Morning, Sunshine," Garrus said as he sat on the edge of Kate's bed.

Kate squinted at the blurry face swimming in and out of her vision. "Hold. Still," she said quietly as she reached out and tried, without success, to grab hold of his face. "And quit shouting."

Garrus snorted a laugh.

She sat up slowly and shook her head. "Oh. Shit. OK, no shaking my head. What the hell happened last night?"

"You really don't remember?"

"I... remember something about standing on my head. I think. And somebody talking about grassy asses."

Garrus laughed so hard he fell off of the bed. When he finally recovered enough to speak, he said, "That's... not exactly what happened, Kate."

"So? What idiotic thing did I do?"

"First of all, there's no ryncol left. In the universe. You drank it all."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Very funny. But I guess that does explain the hammers pounding in my head."

"And..." Garrus hesitated.

"And what?" Her eyes widened in horror. "Oh please tell me I didn't sleep with anyone."

"Not quite. Though if I hadn't been there, I have no idea what would have happened. Or rather what _you_ would have done."

"Garrus?"

"You got a little... flirty... with Vega."

Kate put her head in her hands. "Fuck. My. Life."

"You passed out in the middle of it though, so..."

She groaned. "I am so dead."

"No one saw it, Kate."

"That's not... fuck. He's never going to take me seriously ever again, Garrus."

"You don't know that. Everyone's done stupid stuff when they were drunk."

"Not everyone is the commander of a ship, during a fucking war."

Garrus sighed and put a hand on her shoulder. "You have got to stop beating yourself up about everything, Kate. You're going to drive yourself to distraction and _that_ is something we can't afford. Now come on. Let's go down and get you some coffee. We'll be docking at the Citadel soon."

"Oh fuckin' hell," Kate said as she slowly walked towards the door, hanging onto Garrus' arm. "I forgot about the meeting with the Councilor."

Before they reached the door, it opened to reveal James standing on the landing. "Hey Lola."

Kate blushed so furiously her face was nearly the same shade as her hair. "Hey," she whispered. "_Lo siento por lo que pasó anoche._"

"Something happened last night?" James grinned at the confused look on Kate's face. "Don't worry about it, Lola. I've already forgotten all about it."

"Thanks, James," she said with a smile.

* * *

"Fuckin' Cerberus! How the hell did they get on the Citadel? This is one headache I _really_ didn't need today," Kate raged two hours later as she, Garrus and James fought their way up to C-Sec. They'd been in touch with both Thane and Commander Bailey, but they hadn't found the salarian councilor yet and Kate was getting worried.

They fought through the back halls of C-Sec HQ up to the Executor's office. Garrus hacked the locked door and they stepped into the room, into the aftermath of a small massacre. The Executor sat at his desk, a gunshot in the back of his head and his guards lay dead on the floor near the door.

"Fuck," Kate muttered as she stepped around one of the guards and looked out of the window to the cafe below. "Hey Bailey? The Executor's dead."

"Damn," the C-Sec commander said over the comm. "Any sign of the Councilor?"

"Not y-" Kate cut herself off as she glanced to a table below. A chair had just moved on its own. She narrowed her eyes and concentrated on the spot. There was a sudden shimmer and Valern appeared as if out of thin air. _A tactical cloak? __Clever bastard_, Kate thought with a smile. She often used the same technique in battle, a trick learned from Kasumi. "Bailey? I found the Councilor. He's alive, for now."

A sudden movement caught Kate's eye. She looked across the way and saw a suspicious figure crouching in the rafters above the unsuspecting Councilor. Without a second thought, she shot the window, took a running start and launched through the hole in the window, straight at the assassin.

She grabbed him by the shoulders and they tumbled to the floor, landing a foot in front of the startled Councilor. The assassin kicked Kate hard in the ribs as he pushed her off of him and rolled to his feet. Kate was on her feet half a second later, putting herself between the Councilor and the assassin.

"Shepard, he's going to kill us all," Valern hissed behind her as James and Garrus flanked him.

"What? Of course he is! He's a fucking assassin!" she whispered back, keeping her eyes and her gun on the assassin.

"No, not him. Udina. He's the one behind the coup. He's the one who let Cerberus onto the station."

"Fuck. I should have known."

"You need to get to the rest of the Council. Alenko doesn't know."

Kate rolled her eyes. "And me convincing him of that won't go well. I'll worry about that later, Councilor. First, please, go with Vega and Vakarian. They'll keep you safe."

"Are you finished, Shepard?" the assassin growled. "I'd like to get this over with before I'm old." He lunged toward her, sword poised to strike. Before he reached her, however, Thane came out of nowhere and was at her side.

"Thane? Where-"

"Focus, Kate," the drell said as he moved towards the assassin.

But she could do nothing as the two men moved across the room in battle. She didn't dare fire her pistol for fear of hitting Thane.

A sudden strike by the assassin plunged his sword into Thane's abdomen. As the drell collapsed to the floor and Kate ran to him, the assassin took off for the carport at the far side of the lounge. James and Garrus were at their side in moments.

"Go. I've got time," Thane said, wincing as they helped him to his feet.

Kate nodded and looked to her squad. "Garrus, stay with Thane and Valern. James, you're with me. We're going after this bastard before he reaches the rest of the Council."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the assassin had disappeared and Kate suddenly found herself in a situation she never could have imagined in a million years: she and Kaidan holding each other at gun-point.

"Kate? What the hell are you doing here?" he asked as she and James stepped out of the elevator.

"Doing my job, Kaidan, same as you. Protecting the Council. And putting a stop to _his_ plans to take them out," she said, pointing her gun at Udina.

Kaidan stepped in front of the human Councilor, blocking him from Kate's line of sight. "Sure. 'Protecting' the Council. Is that what they call it these days when you show up unannounced and threaten a Councilor?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "I know what you're implying, Kaidan. I'm not the assassin. And I don't work for Cerberus! We've been over this."

"I'm not gonna let you do this, Kate. You're not taking the Council down."

Kate scoffed. "Think about it for a moment. I'm a Spec Ops sniper, Kaidan. If I'd wanted the Council dead, I'd have already taken out all of them, and there's not a damn thing you could have done to stop me. That is _not_ be the case, however, as you can see. All of them are very much alive."

"Where's Valern?" Tevos asked anxiously from the corner where she stood with Sparatus.

Kate glanced at the asari Councilor and gave her a small smile. "He's fine. He's with Garrus Vakarian. Possibly also with C-Sec if they've been able to get to them by now."

She then turned her attention back to Kaidan as she lowered her pistol and took a step closer to him. She looked straight into his eyes as she said, "If you truly believe I'm a Cerberus agent, that I'm a fucking traitor, as you've been claiming for the last year, then do your job. Go on, kill me if that's what you really believe. You've killed tons of Cerberus agents in the past; this should be no problem for you." She heard James voicing his disbelief in a mixture of Spanish and English behind her and held up a hand to silence him.

The major hesitated, even as his finger twitched on the trigger.

"Otherwise," Kate continued, "step aside and let me do _my_ job, arresting the asshole who orchestrated this whole fucking mess."

A tense moment passed where no one moved, didn't even dare to breathe. Finally, Kaidan lowered his pistol. "I can't. I can't do it," he said quietly.

Behind him, Udina snarled, "Well if you don't have the balls to do it, I will," as he lunged forward and made a grab for Kaidan's gun.

* * *

"Kate, just _once_ I'd like to have you come visit me when you're not limping and/or covered in blood," Dr. Michel said as Kate stepped off the elevator into Huerta Memorial once again, being held up by James.

"I'd really love that too, Chloe," she said through clenched teeth.

"So, what did you do now? You better have gotten these injuries stopping that coup attempt."

"She did," James said as he helped her sit on a bed. "Jumped out a second-story window and got kicked in the ribs, trying to stop an assassin. Who escaped," he growled.

"Oh Kate," Dr. Michel said with a shake of her head.

"That's not the best part, doc," he continued. "After all that, she got shot by Udina."

The doctor paled. "Udina? As in _Councilor_ Udina?"

"Former Councilor now," Kate said with a tight smile and a yelp as James helped her take off her upper armor. "But yeah, he shot me. Aimed for a gut shot I guess but he missed, for the most part. But I didn't. Shot the bastard right between the eyes."

"Oh thank the spirits you two are OK," Garrus said as he walked towards them from a room down the hall.

"Garrus? Where did you get to? Is Valern OK? Thane?"

"The Councilor is fine, Kate. He's with Bailey, Kaidan and the rest of the Council," he said. "Thane is..."

"Where? Where is he?" she asked anxiously as she gingerly hopped off the bed.

Dr. Michel tried to stop her. "Kate, I'm not-"

Garrus held up a hand as Kate hobbled down the hallway. "Let her go, Chloe. She'll be back soon. Thane doesn't have much time."

* * *

"How is he, Kolyat?" Kate asked as she slowly made her way into the room.

Thane's son looked at her with concern. "Are you alright, Shepard? You appear to be in a great deal of pain."

"I'm... don't worry about me; I'll be fine," she said, trying hard not to wince. It was getting harder to breathe. "How's Thane?"

Kolyat put a hand on her arm to steady her. "The doctors have done all they could for him but-"

"Kate?" Thane's raspy voice whispered.

"I'm here, Thane," she said, leaning in as close as she dared. Pain shot through her side but she ignored it.

"Did we... is the councilor alive?"

"Yes, Valern is alive. Sparatus and Tevos as well. The assassin seems to have disappeared for now. But we'll find him. He can't hide forever."

"Good," Thane said softly. "And the traitor Udina?"

"Bullet between the eyes."

"Good," he said again. He looked at his son. "Kolyat, please-"

"Of course, Father," the younger drell said as he pulled a prayer book from his pocket. "Commander, would you like to join us in the prayer?"

She nodded and they began to read a prayer of redemption. Before the last verse was done, Thane was dead.

Kate leaned heavily on Kolyat and swallowed hard before she asked quietly, "Why did that last verse say 'she'?"

"He had already made peace with Kalahira and with himself. The prayer was not for him, Commander. It was for you."


	28. Chapter 28

**Beta: None  
Bioware owns ****all.  
Thanks for the reviews and new follow :)**

* * *

"Well this is a change," a familiar voice said.

Kate looked up from the report she'd been writing to see Kaidan standing in the doorway of her hospital room. She'd been ordered, by both Dr. Michel and Dr. Chakwas, to stay at Huerta Memorial for at least 24 hours. She'd been too emotionally drained and in far too much pain to put up a fight.

"Hey," she said, smiling weakly.

"You have a minute?" Kaidan asked nervously.

Kate smirked. "I've got nothing but time for the foreseeable future. So what's up?"

"Can we talk about what happened before, with the Council?"

She nodded towards a chair. "I dunno what there is to talk about, but sure."

Kaidan sighed heavily. "I... I'm sorry. For Horizon, Mars... everything."

"Apology accepted. While we're on the subject, I'm sorry for breaking your jaw. I will always maintain that you deserved the punch, but didn't actually expect to break anything."

He smiled. "If there's one thing that can be said for you, Kate, it's that you definitely don't hit like a girl."

"Thanks. I think."

He looked down at the floor for a moment. "I have to ask. When you lowered your weapon and stood in front of me, did you know I wouldn't shoot you?"

Kate shook her head. "Not 100%. But I was hoping that if I did something so... I think my dad will probably call it stupid and reckless... that you would see that I was telling you the truth."

Kaidan laughed. "I think I'd have to agree. That _was_ pretty damn stupid and reckless, especially given our previous conversations."

"Anything else?" Kate asked quietly.

"Actually, yes. If I _hadn't_ backed down, would you have shot me to get to Udina?"

She nodded. "Absolutely, without hesitation. Though I'd have made sure it wasn't fatal," she added with a small smile. "And it wouldn't have been because you were being a stubborn jackass, but because I will do absolutely anything to protect the Council."

"Good to know. So are we OK? Have we cleared the air?"

"Depends on you Kaidan," she said carefully. "You still think I'm working for Cerberus?"

Kaidan shook his head. "Without a shadow of a doubt, you are definitely not working for Cerberus."

"Alright, then we're good," Kate said with a smile.

"Good. I just wanted to make sure, before I leave."

"Leave? Where are you going?"

"Admiral Hackett's offered me my own biotic squad. I'm supposed to report to him in twelve hours."

Kate said nothing for a couple of minutes. Finally, she looked at Kaidan. "What if... I made you a counter-offer?"

"What would that be?"

"I could always use another good soldier on my ship. I'm sure Garrus and James are more than a little tired of going on every single mission."

"Wow. Back on the Normandy. That's one hell of a counter-offer, Kate. What about Massani?"

Kate raised an eyebrow. "What about him?"

"Will he have a problem with my being on the ship, after everything that's gone down between us lately?"

"Probably, but I'm pretty sure that will be low on his list of things he's pissed about when he gets back, so I wouldn't worry about it."

* * *

Hackett couldn't hide his grimace when Kate finally connected via the QEC two days later. "Again, Katie? You spend more time in the hospital than you do fighting lately."

Kate sighed. "Really not in the mood, Dad." She looked to the other screen. "Nice to see you're still alive and kicking though, Anderson."

"Same to you, Shepard," Anderson said with a smile. "And Steven, she's looked worse."

Kate winced as she laughed. "Thanks a lot."

Hackett rolled his eyes. "_Anyway_. I read your report on the coup attempt, Katie. Sounds like you had your hands full."

"That's putting it mildly."

"Do you know who the assassin was?"

Kate shook her head. "Some Cerberus jackass with a sword... who kicks really fucking hard," she said as she ran a hand over her ribs. "That's five ribs broken in the last month."

"Kai Leng," Anderson said quietly.

"Who's Kai Leng?"

"He's former Alliance, former N7 actually. Dishonorably discharged and imprisoned after he murdered a krogan while on shore leave. He escaped not long ago. Now you say he's working for Cerberus. That doesn't surprise me in the least."

"And _you_ dove out of a window straight at him," Hackett said, glaring at his daughter.

Kate groaned. "What the hell else did you expect me to do?"

"You would have achieved nearly the same results, minus the broken ribs, if you had simply jumped from the window."

"Whatever. Valern is safe, that's all that matters."

"And Udina is dead," Anderson said.

"Yes, yes he is. I've been wanting to kill that bastard for three years."

"Apparently the feeling was mutual," Hackett said soberly.

"That or he was just pissed that I actually got through to Kaidan for once."

"Don't even get me started on _that _part, Katie."

Anderson raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"She literally dared Major Alenko to shoot her for working with Cerberus. You do realize, Katie, that if you hadn't done that, Udina _wouldn't_ have shot you?"

Kate shrugged. "It was worth it. Kaidan finally came to his senses and I gained another soldier for my ship."

"I haven't approved that yet," Hackett growled. "_You_ may have forgiven him for Horizon, but I haven't."

* * *

Another two days of rest and Kate was back in action, but still on the Citadel. She'd received a message from Primarch Victus about a Cerberus attack on turian fleets that was linked to a volus ambassador. She figured it would be easy light work while she continued recovering.

_Was that... Zaeed's voice?_ she wondered as she ran through the apartment block on the Presidium, looking for the ambassador. _What the fuck is going on?_

She finally found the correct apartment and stopped dead in her tracks. Zaeed was leaning against a rail, two Cerberus agents dead at his feet.

Behind the relief she felt at seeing him alive, Kate suddenly felt anger. "Where the _hell_ have you been?" she asked as she stalked towards him.

"Later," Zaeed growled as he turned his attention to the ambassador, who stood in the corner farthest from the bodies.

Five minutes later, they had "convinced" the volus to not only reveal the location of the turian colony his betrayal had threatened but also give Kate command of the Volus Bombing Fleet for the war.

As soon as the ambassador fled the apartment, Kate turned on Zaeed. "I'll ask you again-" Her words were cut off as he pulled her into a bruising kiss. She momentarily forgot why she was angry as he threaded his fingers through her hair and she melted into the kiss.

When they finally pulled apart, she looked at him and frowned. "You have an irritating way of interrupting arguments before they begin. I was all set to yell at you."

He leaned in and nipped at her neck. "So what's stopping you, kitten? Yell if it'll make you feel better."

She groaned. "I... don't remember what I was going to yell at you for."

He chuckled. "You're welcome."

"Don't think you're off the hook. I'll remember... eventually," Kate said as she leaned against him, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms again.


	29. Chapter 29

**Holy huge apologies. First my comp went stupid. Thankfully that has been fixed. Then there was a death in the family and my dear mother (said with all the non-sarcastic love I can muster, which is pretty non-existant at this point) insisted I come home for an entire month. I am trying to play catch-up now, having had no access to a computer (she lives in the dark ages. ugh.)**

**Anyway, enjoy dear readers. I love you all and thank you all for the likes/follows/comments.**

**Bioware owns all (though there are a couple of mentions of Marcus, who is mine.)**

* * *

_Ok maybe this was a bad idea after all_, Kate thought as she stood in the corridor between the CIC and the cockpit. Her father had finally relented and had just sent Kaidan's new orders. But Zaeed and Garrus had just caught sight of the major standing in the cockpit with Joker and EDI. Kaidan didn't seem to be taking the news well that the synthetic body which had tried to kill him and Kate on Mars now not only housed the Normandy's AI but was also Joker's girlfriend.

"What the bloody hell is _he_ doing here?" Zaeed growled in Kate's ear as he possessively wrapped one arm around her shoulders, the other low on her waist and pulled her back against him.

She sighed heavily as she rested her head against his shoulder. "He is here because I asked him to be. Please don't make a big thing of it. It was hard enough getting Dad to agree to it."

Zaeed laughed. "Bullshit. Getting your old man to agree to anything is the easiest thing you've ever done, kitten."

"I don't like this," Garrus said as he glared in Kaidan's direction. "He's called you a traitor, on more than one occasion, accused you of betraying your own father, and yet now you stand ready to trust him to watch your back in a war?"

"He apologized," she countered.

"He's 'apologized' before, Kate," Zaeed said. "What maeks you so sure this time he was sincere?"

"If he truly believed I was working for Cerberus, he wouldn't have hesitated and would have shot me when I gave him the chance during the coup attempt."

"About that..."

"Please don't start, Z," Kate said quietly. "I've already been yelled at by my dad, Anderson, Chloe, Garrus James and Kaidan. I don't need it from you too."

Zaeed gently bit the pulse point in her neck. "This is not over, kitten," he said. "but at the moment, we're more concerned with Alenko."

"Damn right," Garrus growled. "If he's gonna be here long term, we're laying down some ground rules."

Kate rolled her eyes. "You two do remember I am the commander of this ship, yes?"

"We know," Zaeed said as he spun her in his arms and kissed her. "We just want to make sure Alenko knows his place here."

_Yup, definitely a bad idea_, Kate decided as she walked to the elevator and retreated to the sanctuary of the Loft.

"Hey," Kaidan said, smiling as Garrus walked into the cockpit. The turian only glared and said nothing.

"Shut it, Alenko," Zaeed snarled as he joined the group. EDI sensed the hostile environment and made a quick exit.

"What's the problem, Massani?" Kaidan asked, only too happy to see the AI leave.

"You are, jackass."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? What did I ever do to you?"

Zaeed laughed humorlessly. "You really are a bloody idiot. If you'd ever done anything to me, you'd be dead."

Kaidan scoffed.

"No. This is about what you did to Kate," Zaeed said viciously.

The major's face fell. "Oh."

"Now, I have no fucking clue what she was thinking in bringing you back onboard this ship, but it's her call. However, I will be keeping an eye on you, Alenko. This is your only warning: if you so much as make her _frown_, I will _end_ you." Without waiting for a reaction or reply, Zaeed abruptly turned and headed to the elevator.

Kaidan looked to Garrus for help. He found none. "Don't look at me," the turian said coldly. "I'm with Massani on this one."

"Since when do you two get along?" Kaidan asked warily.

"Since you broke my best friend's heart and he was the one who picked up the pieces," Garrus growled and walked away.

Kaidan turned to Joker. "What do I do?" the major asked helplessly.

"Tread carefully or run like hell," Joker said with a grim smile. "You have _no_ idea how glad I am that I'm not you right now."

"Thanks. That was _so_ helpful," Kaidan said sarcastically.

Joker sighed. "Look. I know this is rough, but if _I_ can survive Massani post-break-up, so can you."

"Wait. What? When were you and Kate together?"

"Back on Arcturus, when we were teenagers." The look in Joker's eyes said that it had been around the time that Kate was kidnapped by Marcus.

"That must have been hard," the major said quietly.

Joker shook his head. "Harder than you can imagine. I was there, Kaidan, the day before Marcus came."

"Jesus."

"Anyway, after Massani brought her home, she and I both realized she didn't need or want a boyfriend right then. What she needed was someone to lean on, someone who would listen. Someone other than her father who could make her feel safe again after Massani left."

"So he's always been this protective?"

"Who, Massani?" Joker scoffed. "Think about it, Kaidan. Think about how they met. Of course he's always been this protective. Hell, you, Garrus and Wrex were damn lucky he didn't kill you after that thing with Harkin a year ago. Of course, _you_ were lucky he didn't kill you after Horizon. I guess he thought Kate had done enough damage, at the time."

Kaidan ignored the last comment. "Harkin is back?"

"Was. Now he's dead."

"What happened? He somehow manage to get his hands on Kate?"

"Right in one," Joker said darkly. "It was horrible, man. I've never seen Massani so freaked. It didn't help that Garrus and Kate had toled him about what had happened before (Gods was he pissed) and less than 48 hours later, she was gone. Harkin came damn close to killing her, though if Massani and Garrus hadn't found her when they did, we might have had a Marcus repeat first. And those two were in hper-protective mode for weeks after that, even after Massani snapped Harkin's neck."

"How does Garrus fit into all this?" Kaidan asked, trying not to think about Zaeed breaking a man's neck.

"Kate was helping him with a mission when they were attacked. By the way, don't mention any of this to Hackett. I don't think Kate ever told him about Harkin, any of it."

Kaidan gave Joker a bewildering look. "Do I look stupid? I don't want to think what Kate had to do to get the admiral to let me back on this ship. No way I'm jeopardizing that."

Joker laughed. "First off, looks have nothing to do with it. You _are_ stupid. Only a complete moron would tell Hackett's daughter, to her face, that she betrayed him and not expect to get punched. That aside, don't let her sob story fool you. No matter what BS she tries to feed you, it wasn't that hard for her to change his mind. Every once in awhile, she may have to wear him down a bit, but he will give her damn near anything she asks him for. Always been like that, even before Omega. But she rarely asks Hackett for anything, professionally anyway. Doesn't want anyone to think she didn't earn her stripes legitimately."

* * *

Kate was lounging on the couch when Zaeed came storming into the Loft. "You didn't hurt him did you?" she asked, watching with interest as he stripped down to his boxers.

"_I_ didn't, yet. Can't speak for Vakarian and Moreau," he said as he lifted her feet and sat down next to her. "But now that that's dealt with, let's talk about you and your apparent death wish."

Kate said nothing as she swung her legs around, got up and stood in front of him, a coy smile gracing her lips as she slowly pulled the zipper on the front of her N7 hoodie.

Zaeed's eyes darkened as the hoodie fell to the floor, followed by her jeans, leaving Kate wearing nothing but her necklace and dog-tags. He pulled her towards him, his hands firmly on her hips as she straddled his. He kissed a path from her navel up to her breasts as she slowly sank into his lap.

"Don't think I can't see what you're trying to do here, kitten," he growled as he bit her shoulder and his hands slid up her sides. His fingers brushed over the still-tender scar from Udina's assassination attempt and Kate gasped as her eyes met his. "I'm serious about this talk. Seduction will not get you a permanent block on this topic."

"As you wish," she purred as she took his hand and slid it down to her thigh before slipping her hand into his boxers.

His grip on her thigh unconsciously tightened and he groaned. "You play dirty, kitten."

She smirked. "No, Z. I play to win. Now shut up and fuck me," she murmured as she leaned in and captured his lips with hers in a passionate kiss.

His entire argument forgotten, Zaeed found he could do nothing but comply.


	30. Chapter 30

**Beta: None**

**Bioware owns all**

* * *

Zaeed woke to find Kate's side of the bed cold and empty except a data pad on her pillow with a note:

_A friend called in a favor. I'll be back in a few days._  
_I love you!_  
_Jessie_

The hidden meaning in the note hit him suddenly and he shot out of bed. "Bloody hell. EDI?" he called to the AI as he began searching the room for his clothes.

"Yes, Mr. Massani?"

"Where is Commander Shepard?"

"I do not know."

Zaeed stood up so fast, he cracked his head on the shelf where Sam lived. He swore loudly as he rubbed the back of his head. "What the _hell_ do you mean you don't know?"

"All I can tell you is where she is not," EDI said patiently. "She is not currently aboard the Normandy nor anywhere on the Citadel. I cannot speculate where she may have gone once she left the station. But from your agitated muttering I have concluded you already knew that."

"Yes, that's what I was afraid of. Please inform me the moment she returns to the Citadel."

"Very well," EDI said. "Logging you out."

"I'm going to kill that goddamn asari," Zaeed growled as he stepped into the elevator and punched the button for the crew deck.

He found Joker, James, Garrus and Kaidan sitting together at a table in the mess. "We have a problem," the mercenary said, sitting next to Garrus.

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it," Kaidan and James said simultaneously.

Zaeed raised an eyebrow as he looked at James. "I know why _he_ would say that," he said, jerking his head towards Kaidan, "but what are you on about?"

James and Garrus exchanged a look, the turian shaking his head slightly before the lieutenant looked at Zaeed and said, "It's nothing. Never mind."

Joker tried to cover a snort of laughter by clearing his throat. He knew _exactly_ why James was nervous, having witnessed Kate's drunken flirting via the security feed. "So, what stupid thing did the boss do now?" the pilot asked.

"Read." Zaeed tossed the data pad across the table to Joker. The others moved to read over his shoulder.

"Why did she-" Joker seemed to come to the same realization Zaeed had. "She went to Omega?"

Zaeed nodded.

"She did _what_?" Garrus exclaimed.

"How did you two come to that conclusion?" Kaidan asked, looking from Joker to Zaeed.

"I thought Jessie was Massani's rifle," James said.

"'Tis. I found her on Omega," Zaeed said quietly.

"Jessie or Kate?"

This time it was Joker and Zaeed who exchanged looks. While all at the table had heard some version of how Zaeed and Kate had met, only Joker knew that the mercenary had named his rifle after her, or even that her first name was Jessica.

"Both," Zaeed said after a moment. It wasn't a lie in any case. He _had_ bought the rifle on Omega, just before he had taken Kate home to Arcturus.

"So why, after all the crap she went through all those years ago, and then everything we all went through a year and a half ago, would Kate voluntarily go back to Omega?" Garrus asked.

"Aria intends to retake the station from Cerberus," Zaeed said. "And for some idiotic reason, Kate agreed to help her do it."

"What, she didn't get enough catharsis in saving the Citadel from Cerberus, she has to save the one place she despises as well?" Joker said.

Zaeed sighed. "Apparently."

"So what's the plan?" James asked. "Are we going after them?"

"No way. That'd be suicide," Garrus said. "And not even against Cerberus. You know how fucking paranoid Aria is, Vega. She'd blast the Normandy out of the sky before we got anywhere near the station."

"Much as I hate sitting around doing nothing, Vakarian is right," Zaeed said. "It won't help Kate if she comes back from Omega knowing that Aria blew up not only her ship but all of her friends, and yes, I grudgingly include you in that statement, Alenko."

Kaidan smiled weakly. "Thanks. I think."

James huffed impatiently. "So what the _hell_ was the point in telling us all that if we're just gonna sit on our asses and do nothing?"

* * *

"Oh shit. I'm in trouble now," Kate muttered as she limped off the elevator into the docking bay on the Citadel two days later. Zaeed was leaning against a stack of crates, his arms folded across his chest, a scowl on his face. The scowl only deepened when he spotted Bray, Aria's batarian lieutenant, coming in behind Kate.

"Really? Bad enough you sneak off to Omega but now you're traveling with batarians?" Zaeed snarled, his voice low and dangerous. Bray saw the look in the mercenary's eye and immediately turned back to the door with a muttered "Thanks for the help. Good luck!" to Kate.

She took a step towards Zaeed. "What are you getting all bent out of shape for? I told you exactly where I was going and you must have known the reason for the trip or you would have followed me."

"Do you have any idea how many warning bells were going off in my head when I read that note?" Zaeed asked quietly. "Seriously, are you trying to kill yourself? Because if you are, I am not going to stand by and watch it happen. I love you too much to watch you slip away from me again."

Kate stopped dead in her tracks. "Am I _what_? Why the _hell_ would you think I was trying to kill myself?"

"Diving through a second-story window directly at an assassin, playing chicken with an armed Spectre, and going off to retake a station by yourself aren't exactly the actions of someone who is doing everything they can to survive this war."

Kate sighed. "First, I wasn't alone on Omega. I was with Aria."

Zaeed rolled his eyes. "Yes, that makes me feel so much better. She's just as crazy as you are."

"Second," she said, ignoring him, "in both of your other examples, I was doing my job as a Spectre."

"In the first, maybe. But there was absolutely _no_ reason for you to stand there while Alenko pointed a gun at your heart."

"It was either that or shoot him," Kate said. "I figured I'd try non-violence first."

"And we saw how well that worked," Zaeed growled. "Look, you're not the only one who has nightmares, Kate. And I'm not just talking about me. You are mine, and I don't share. Period. But your friends do love you, in their own ways. So it's not just me saying this; it's also Moreau, Vakarian, Vega and Alenko."

"Oh good. You guys didn't kill him while I was gone," Kate said with a smile.

"Nothing to kill him for without you being here, kitten," he said with a smirk. "Plus, we were all too busy being pissed off at you and Aria. Why didn't you tell us before-hand that you were going?"

"Aria's rule. She said something about having a problem with some of the company I keep. I think she was talking about you."

"Bloody asari," Zaeed muttered.

"And really, you're one to talk when it comes to taking risks. How long did you think you'd survive working for her?"

"No more or less than working for you, kitten. But we're not talking about me and my risks. We're talking about you. Just please promise me you won't do anything so stupid and reckless again."

There it is," Kate said triumphantly. "I _knew_ those words would be said by _someone_!"

Zaeed narrowed his eyes. "I'm serious, Kate."

She stepped closer and brushed her lips against his. "I know you are. And I promise, as long as _you_ promise to stick around this time. Apparently I don't do well on my own."

"Obviously," he said with a chuckle. He pulled her in close and wrapped his arms around her as he kissed her. "I promise. I'm not going anywhere unless you are beside me."


	31. Chapter 31

**Thanks for the reviews and new fav :)  
Beta: None  
A/N: Considering Kate neither rescued Tali from Haestrom nor activated Legion, the bit about Rannoch is completely AU.  
Bioware owns all.  
**

* * *

"Don't you dare say a word, Dad," Kate said. "I did what had to be done to take down that Reaper."

Hackett raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Katie."

"So you... do you even _read_ my reports?"

"Of course I do. But I haven't had a chance to read this one. I will, however, assume you've been to Rannoch and have been at least somewhat successful in negotiations with the quarians?"

"Um... sort of. Not... how do you know where I am if you didn't read the report?"

"It was kind of a dead giveaway when a group of geth Primes showed up, claiming you sent them to work on the Crucible," he said with a smile. "So, what is it you think I'm going to yell about?"

Kate shrugged. "Read the report, I'm sure you'll find something. God knows I got an earful from James and Zaeed on the shuttle-ride back."

"That tells me nothing, Katie. Massani has _always_ been over-protective of you."

"Pot, meet kettle," she said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm your father. That's my job," Hackett said.

"I'm 32, Dad."

"What's your point, besides making me feel old?"

Kate grinned. "Sorry. So what's this about putting the Normandy in dry-dock? You have any idea how sick of the Citadel we all are, Dad?"

"Tough. She needs repairs and your lot needs actual shore leave."

"They were just _on_ shore leave a few days ago, when I went-" Kate clamped her mouth shut. If he didn't have a reason to yell before, her father was definitely going to yell about Omega.

"When you went where, Katie?" Hackett asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Nowhe-"

"She went to Omega," Zaeed growled as he walked through the door. "Alone."

Kate turned and glared at him. "I'm gonna kill you," she hissed.

"Why the _hell_ would you go to Omega?" Hackett demanded.

"I didn't do it just for... fun... or whatever," Kate said. "Cerberus controlling that station was bad for the war. They were capturing any ships that passed by with food and supplies. So Aria being back in control is a good thing."

"That's... a fair point," Hackett said after awhile."

"Ha!" Kate turned and stuck her tongue out at Zaeed.

He rolled his eyes. "I still think it was stupid that you sneaked off in the middle of the night," he said.

"Yeah, well, you've already yelled about it, so shush."

Hackett cleared his throat, bringing their attention back to the QEC. "_Anyway_," he said, "whenever you get back to the Citadel, make sure everyone is off the ship."

"And by everyone, you mean Joker," Kate said with a smirk.

Hackett chuckled. "Yes, I mean Joker. And you, Katie. The two of you are overly attached to that ship."

"Don't worry. Between us, I think EDI and I can manage to break their hold on the ship," Zaeed said.

"I don't want to know," Hackett said with a grimace. "Also, Anderson left you his apartment."

"Seriously?" Kate exclaimed. "Wow. That place is incredible!"

"Have fun, but try not to wreck anything."

Kate grinned. "No promises, Dad."

* * *

_Three Days Later..._

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Oh _fuck_ that hurts!" Kate groaned as she landed hard on her back in a shower of broken glass. She tried to sit up and quickly realized that wasn't happening without help or extreme pain. No one was around, so she opted for pain. And more cursing.

"Commander? Are you alright?" The squeaky voice of Brooks broke through on the comm.

"I just feel three stories through a fish tank, Brooks. Of course I'm not fucking alright," Kate ground out between clenched teeth as she tried to pull shards of glass from her hands and arms. "What about you? You got shot."

"Um... yes. I'm fine. I used medi-gel. _All_ the medi-gel actually."

"That explains why you sound so fucking hyper," Kate muttered. "Oh fuck me! Everything hurts." She winced as she gingerly leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes.

"If this is what happens when you go out without me, then you're never going out without me again." Kate nearly jumped out of her skin when she realized that Zaeed's voice was coming directly from the man himself, not the comm.

"Bite me, Massani," she said. "I'm so not in the mood for your sarcasm."

He chuckled. "Fine. Then I guess I'll just leave you here to figure this out for yourself."

"Rabid varren," Kate said hoarsely.

"Come again?" The mercenary looked at her with concern. "Exactly how hard did you hit your head, kitten?"

She shook her head. "If you leave me, my dad will throw you in a pit of rabid varren."

"I believe he said _starving_ varren, but I see your point. And I wasn't going to leave you anyway."

She raised an eyebrow. "How'd you find me anyway?"

"Followed the screaming and cursing," he said as he began applying medi-gel and bandages around the larger pieces of glass in her arms. "That and Moreau told us what happened. Said you used him as bait?"

Kate groaned. "Oh he is _never_ gonna let that one go, I can tell."

* * *

James whistled. "Yowza! Lookin' good, Lola!" he said as Kate gingerly walked from the master bedroom in Anderson's apartment three hours later.

"Thanks, James," she said with a smile. Going to a black-tie fundraiser was not at all what she'd planned to do after the disastrous sushi date with Joker, but Liara insisted it was the best way to get the information they needed. So Kate had grudgingly squeezed into a floor-length black dress that had sleeves to hide the bandages on her arms, but featured a thigh-high slit on one side and a plunging neckline. She had to admit she felt pretty damn sexy. And she practically drooled on herself when she spotted Zaeed standing by the fireplace in his black-on-black tux.

"Well, this should be a productive evening," Liara said with a laugh when she saw the look on Kate's face. "You two do remember _why_ you're going to this thing, right?"

"Of course. We're the distraction while Brooks finds a way to break into the panic room. Don't worry, Liara. I've done this before."


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Sorry for the super-short chapter. It was... necessary.  
Beta: pixelatrix (because she's awesome with the angst lol)  
Bioware owns all.**

* * *

"Massani? What's wrong?" Hackett didn't like the agitated look on the mercenary's face. And the last time he'd been the one on the other end of the vid-com, sixteen years ago, it hadn't been good news either.

Zaeed paced in front of the vid-screen in Anderson's apartment. "We need your help."

"Who is 'we' and what kind of help? Where is Katie?"

"Short version is she's locked in the brig on the Normandy, along with her clone."

"Her _what_?"

"When they were... rebuilding her, they built a clone in case Kate ever needed spare parts. After Kate escaped Cerberus and was sent to Earth, the clone escaped and... well, it's trying to take over Kate's life. Intends to 'become the Commander Shepard that should have been' or some bullshit."

"So what do you need me for exactly?"

"The clone took over the Normandy. We got it back, but... Kate and the clone got into a fight and now we can't tell which is which."

Hackett shook his head and muttered a litany of curses.

Zaeed sighed. "So we need you, to help us tell them apart."

"You can't do it, Massani?"

The mercenary shook his head. "Moreau and I have tried, since we've known Kate the longest of anybody on the ship, to ask questions that only Kate would know. But... the damn clone seems to know the answers too. We figured maybe there was _something_ you knew that only Kate would know, that the clone wouldn't have a prayer of finding out."

Hackett nodded. "I'll be there in three hours."

* * *

The moment he stepped onto the Normandy, Hackett was escorted down to the ship's brig by Lt. Vega.

The two Shepards were in separate cells at opposite ends.

"Fuck," he muttered. It had been hard enough seeing Katie in the brig on Earth, but this, seeing two of them, even knowing one was an evil clone, was a whole new feeling.

"Good luck, sir," Vega said with a salute as he stepped back and closed the door behind him, leaving the admiral alone with the Shepards.

Hackett knew what he had to do. But the question he was going to ask was going to bring up painful memories. He hated thinking of it, but it was the only way. It was the only way to tell them apart.

He stood in the middle of the brig and faced both cells. "You each have a data pad. I'm going to ask you one question. Give me your answer."

The two Shepards nodded.

_Dammit, this is going to be hard_, Hackett thought. He sighed. "What was the first thing you said to me the first time we were alone after you came back from Omega?" He knew Katie would know exactly what he was talking about; he prayed the clone would not.

After a couple of minutes, both indicated they were done. Hackett braced himself for the answers.

The Shepard closest to the outer door had typed "Why?"

The other had typed "Where were you when I needed you?"

Hackett unlocked the second door. When Katie walked out, he said "I'm sorry."

She smiled. "I know, Dad." Then she stepped over to the other door and unlocked it. "Can I see your pistol for a second?"

He handed it to her and looked away. He couldn't watch. It might have been a clone, but it still looked exactly like her. A gunshot and then Katie was back at his side. She handed his pistol back to him and linked her arm with his.

"Let's go, Dad," she said. "And... thanks."


	33. Chapter 33

**Thanks for the review and new follow :)  
Beta: pixelatrix (I dunno if this chapter ever would have been posted without her)  
Bioware owns all.**

* * *

Kate could feel her fingers slipping from the meager ledge she was trying to cling to; she was barely hanging on now, just four fingers of one hand stood between life and a very painful death at the bottom of a rocky crater. She knew Zaeed and Liara were somewhere up in the temple, trying to get out from under a column that Kai Leng's ship had blasted. And the slippery bastard was probably well on his way back to whatever hole he'd slithered out of. So now she was going to die, again, and as with the Collectors, it wasn't going to be on her fucking terms.

As her fingertips slipped off of the ledge and she started to fall, she felt a hand strongly gripping her wrist.

"Grab my arm, goddamn it," Zaeed growled as he tried to pull her up. She complied, grabbing his arm with her other hand, and he slowly pulled her out of the crater and into his arms. "Christ. Don't scare me like that, kitten," he murmured into her hair as he crushed her against his chest.

"Not my choice, Z," she said. "Where's Kai Leng? Fuck that. Where's-" Her words cut off when she saw Liara. The asari was leaning against a wall at the entrance to the temple, staring out at the destruction of Thessia. Kate extracted herself from Zaeed's arms and went to stand beside Liara. She touched her arm. "Liara?"

When she didn't react at all, with a look or words, Kate put her arm around Liara's shoulders and pulled her into a hug as she called for Cortez to pick them up. When the shuttle landed, Kate stood on one side of Liara, Zaeed on the other, and they guided her into the Kodiak. Kate sent a message to the Normandy, asking Garrus and Kaidan to meet them in the shuttle bay.

The moment the doors on the Kodiak opened in the shuttle bay, Garrus and Kaidan were inside.

"Go," Kate said quietly. "Take Liara to the med-bay. And I don't give a shit what Dr. Chakwas says, stay with her. Please. I think she's in shock."

The two men nodded and gently guided Liara from the shuttle.

"And what about you, Kate?" Zaeed asked. "Are you..."

She shook her head. "I dunno. But I can't afford to fall to pieces right now. I need to talk to Tevos."

Zaeed nodded and left the shuttle. Kate stayed where she was.

"Commander?" Kate looked up to see Cortez looking at her with concern. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have saved them. That wasn't your job today."

"And yet, I failed at the job I was supposed to do," she said bitterly.

"You'll get him, Commander," Cortez said as he knelt in front of her. "Kai Leng can't run forever."

She nodded. "I know. He's just so damn arrogant. Pisses me off."

Cortez smiled. "And one day, that will bite him in the ass."

"One day _soon_, you mean," Kate said with a weak smile.

He stood and pulled her to her feet. "Very soon, if you have anything to say about it."

* * *

Kate leaned against the wall in the comm room, watching the flashing light. She knew it was Tevos. She knew she had to talk to her. But she didn't know how the hell she was supposed to tell her that the asari homeworld had been completely over-run, even more so than Palaven and Earth.

Finally, she stood straight, squared her shoulders and hit the button to answer the hail.

"Commander? Commander Shepard? Are you there?" Tevos asked as her image flickered in and out of focus.

"I'm here, Councilor. I... I'm sorry," Kate said. "Thessia has fallen to the Reapers. There was nothing we could... they had already nearly overwhelmed the commandos who were fighting by the time we got there.

Tevos was silent for a moment. "Did you find what you were looking for at the temple?"

"Yes and no. We found it, but Cerberus found us. Kai Leng took the information. We're in the process of tracking him down now."

"I see," Tevos said quietly. "Thank you, Commander for telling me. If you'll excuse me, there are... end of civilization preparations that need to be made. Good-bye and Goddess be with you in your search."

The connection ended.

Kate felt as if someone had just stabbed her in the heart. _End of civilization?_ she thought._ Damn it all. Does the Illusive Man realize what the fuck he's just done?_

* * *

"You look somewhat happier than you did earlier," Zaeed observed when Kate walked into the Loft.  
"I _was_ happy... ish. Until I talked to Tevos," she said as she took the beer he offered and curled up against him on the couch.  
He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry, kitten. That couldn't have been an easy conversation to have."

She shook her head. "One of the hardest conversations I've ever had. Including the ones with my dad after Omega."

He tucked a curl of hair behind her ear. "So what was it that made you happy before that?"

"I talked to Cortez after you left the shuttle."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"  
She nodded. "He's a good friend."  
"That he is. And as long as it wasn't Vega or Alenko, then we have no problem."

At the mention of James, Kate sat up and put her beer on the coffee table. She sighed and said, "Zaeed there's something I have to tell you."

His beer came to rest next to hers and he looked sideways at her. "What's wrong?"

"I... OK first of all, you have to understand that I was extremely upset after Tuchanka, specifically after Mordin died."

"So I heard, or read," Zaeed said quietly. "Vakarian sent me a message; said something about you getting plastered on ryncol and then passing out."

"Fuck. But he didn't say anything else?"

"No. Why?"

"I don't remember it, at all. Honestly, I remember getting off the shuttle, going into the lounge and then basically the next thing I remember, barely, is Garrus sitting on my bed the next morning trying to wake me up."

"And?"

"He told me what happened. He and James found me in the lounge, and they brought me up here."

"Vega was with you?"

Kate nodded slowly. "Apparently, I was very chatty before I passed out, very flirty chatty. With James."

"I see."

"That's all he told me."

Zaeed suddenly remembered something. "So _that's_ what Vega was talking about," he muttered. "I wondered what that son of a bitch had to feel guilty about."

He suddenly got up and headed for the door. Kate quickly followed him.

"Where are you going?" she asked anxiously.

"To talk to Vega."

"What? No! Please, Zaeed," she begged and caught his arm, pulling him to face her. "He didn't... it was all me."

"How do you know that, kitten?" he said. "You said you don't remember anything."

"I don't... I..." Kate sighed. "You don't trust James. You made that abundantly clear from the first second you laid eyes on him. But do you trust Garrus?"

"With you? Yes. More than Vega or Alenko anyway."

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, I get it. Point is, Garrus is just as over-protective as you are."

Zaeed growled.

"Therefore, there's not a chance in hell he would have let anything happen between me and James."

"I-"

"Also, I asked him and he told me I didn't sleep with anyone."

Zaeed banged his head against the wall. "Why the _hell_ didn't you lead off with that little tidbit?"

Kate leaned up and gently pressed her lips against his temple. "Because I didn't remember it 'til just now."

He chuckled. "Convenient. You didn't just say that to keep me from killing Vega, did you?"

She rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. "Possibly."

"Is it true?"

She raised her head and looked him in the eye. "Have I ever lied to you?"

"Withheld the truth, for what you decided were good reasons, but no I don't think you've ever lied to me."

"Then you just answered your own damn question."

"Fair enough. Does anyone else know besides Vakarian?"

"I don't... dammit... Joker."

"How?"

"You know how bored he gets. I'll bet you anything he was watching the security feeds."

Zaeed turned towards the door again.

"_Now_ where are you going? You're not going to kill my pilot for being a snoop are you?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, I'm going to talk to him. See if your theory is right."

Kate sighed. "Fine. I'll go with you. I need to check on Liara."

She found Garrus sitting in his usual spot in the mess hall. "How's Liara?" she asked as she sat across from him.

"Dr. Chakwas gave her a sedative. Kaidan and I took her back to her quarters and he's staying with her."

"Good. I'll try to talk to her when she wakes up." Kate looked down at her hands. "I told him."

"You told who what?" When she didn't respond, he put his hand over both of hers. "Kate?"

"I told Zaeed about what happened with James."

"Oh. And?"

"I barely convinced him not to kill him. He's talking to Joker."

"Why?"

"Remember how you said no one saw except you? I think you forgot just how nosy Joker can be."

"Damn security cameras everywhere," Garrus muttered.

Kate's omni-tool beeped. _No more ryncol for you. Ever. __-Z_

A second message came in. _Or at least until the war is over. -Z_


	34. Chapter 34

**Thanks for the review :)  
Bioware owns all.**

* * *

On a tip from Traynor, the Normandy went straight from Thessia to something called "Sanctuary" on Horizon, which seemed to be Kai Leng's next stop. Kate didn't think she could hate Cerberus any more than she already did after everything she'd seen three years ago looking for Admiral Kahoku. That was until she saw what Sanctuary really was. The universe was going to have to come up with a whole new word for the rage she felt at seeing that place. Horror and evil beyond comprehension.

And then she found Miranda. Kate's former XO had been searching for months for her sister Oriana, convinced that their father was behind it. And, as was usually the case with Miranda, she was right. Henry Lawson had apparently gotten over the hatred of the Illusive Man he'd felt when Cerberus had taken in Miranda long ago and was now working with him. According to the vids Kate, Garrus and Kaidan had watched in their search of Sanctuary, Henry and the Illusive Man were trying to come up with a plan to control the goddamn Reapers. War refugees lured by the promise of safety, only to be turned into husks for the Illusive Man's twisted experiments.

Now, Kate was face-to-face with the egomaniac who had created Miranda and Oriana in order to create and maintain a dynasty. He was holding his younger daughter at gun-point, while her sister lay on the floor, bleeding and beaten from an encounter with Kai Leng. Once again, the assassin had failed to kill his target but once again he had also vanished.

"Let her go, Lawson, and we can talk about this," Kate said. She knew she had to be careful. Unlike when she had been in the same position with Harkin, Henry's finger was very much on the trigger.

Henry scoffed. "I'm not stupid, Commander. I know what your definition of 'talk' is. The moment I let Oriana go, you are going to shoot me."

"No, I won't. And they won't either," she said, indicating Kaidan and Garrus. She could tell by the look of amusement on Henry's face that they very much disagreed with that statement. But she knew, when push came to shove, they would follow her lead as they always did. She lowered her pistol but didn't holster it. "Let Oriana go. Now."

"Fine," Henry snarled as he shoved his daughter to the floor. "So. Are we good?"

"Thought you said you weren't stupid, Lawson. I said we weren't going to shoot you. I didn't say you weren't going to die." Kate had seen Miranda slowly getting to her feet.

"What-" Henry didn't get a chance to say more than that as Miranda's entire body glowed bright blue and she used all of her remaining strength to biotically throw him through the giant window behind him. He flew through the window and landed with a sickening _crack_ on the concrete floor below. For good measure, Kate got out her sniper rifle and shot him between the eyes.

"Thank you, Commander," Oriana said as Kate helped her off the floor. "For everything."

Garrus and Kaidan carefully helped Miranda to stand and stay on her feet. "Shepard, before you go, I have something that will definitely help you." She handed Kate a small device with a blinking light on it. "During my fight with Kai Leng, I managed to slip a tracker on him. This should lead you directly to the Illusive Man's headquarters."

When Kate got back to the Normandy, she bypassed everyone else and went straight to the comm room to call her father. They both agreed that an assault against Cerberus would most likely be the beginning of the final push towards Earth. He said the Crucible was as ready as it could be without the final component, the Catalyst. Kate hoped she would find the information she needed in the Illusive Man's base.

* * *

Kate decided that one final trip to the Citadel was in order before heading to the Horse Head Nebula. While everyone was busy on the Sunset Strip, she received a message from Miranda, saying she wanted to talk.

"Thank you, Shepard, for your help with Sanctuary," Miranda said. "If you hadn't been there..." She trailed off, but Kate knew what she meant. Henry Lawson had been a monster nearly on the same level as the Illusive Man, and with a man like that, there was no telling what would have happened to Oriana.

"You're welcome," Kate said with a smile. "I can gladly say that I count you among my friends, though God knows we had a rough start. And you know how much I like Ori; I'd hated to have seen anything happen to her because of your father. Jackass."

Miranda smirked. "That he was." She was quiet for a moment before she turned to look out at the view of the Strip from Kate's living room window. "There's something you should know, Shepard. When the Lazarus project was rebuilding you, I wanted to implant a control chip, but the Illusive Man wouldn't allow it."

"I know," Kate said. "You told me this already, right after Freedom's Progress."

"It's just, the guilt has been eating away at me. I escaped my father and took Ori away from him to prevent him from controlling us. And yet I didn't hesitate a moment at the thought of doing the same bloody thing to you," Miranda said bitterly.

Kate put a hand on her shoulder. "I don't blame you. I can't say that I wouldn't have wanted to do the same thing if I'd been in your place. I was a complete unknown."

Miranda turned back to face Kate. "And there's something else."

Kate looked apprehensive. "Good or bad?"

Miranda smiled. "Well, if it was me, I'd definitely think it was a good thing. You know how the Illusive Man said he wanted to 'bring back Commander Shepard, exactly as she was when she defeated Sovereign'?"

"Yes..."

"Well, we did that. Except for one fairly major improvement. The gunshot wound that you received when you were sixteen-"

"You know about that?"

Miranda scoffed. "Please. There's not a whole hell of a lot the Illusive Man _didn't_ know about you. Anyway, the one thing that _I_ absolutely insisted on, was making sure that you would have the chance to have kids someday, if you survived the suicide mission and the Reapers."

Kate was speechless. She hugged Miranda so tight she was sure that the biotic would have had a couple of broken ribs if she wasn't genetically engineered. "Thank you," she finally choked out. "All these years, I thought I'd never... and my dad... oh fuckin' hell this is going to give him a heart attack."

Miranda laughed. "Sorry about that."

Kate shook her head. "I'm not. And I'm sure he'll think it's totally worth it," she said with a grin. "Oh shit. I... how the fuck am I going to tell Zaeed? And... are you sure it worked? It's not like I've been celibate for the last year and a half."

Miranda smiled. "While I may not have been allowed to implant you with a control chip, for which I am now _very_ thankful, I did install a birth control chip that can be removed when you are ready for kids."

Kate had one last question. "As you said, there's not much the Illusive Man doesn't know, and especially about his own project. So he would have known your plan. Why didn't he tell me this the first time we talked?"

"He didn't want you getting distracted. And now I probably just lost us the war because you're going to go all gooey over baby stuff," Miranda teased.


	35. Chapter 35

**Beta: pixelatrix  
Thanks for the review and new follows :)  
Bioware owns all.**

* * *

Kate was unnaturally quiet as she sat with Zaeed on the couch in her apartment.

"What's wrong, kitten?" he asked.

She looked at him in surprise. "Why would you think anything was wrong?"

He smiled. "You're not your usual sarcastically chatty self."

She shifted in his arms so she could fully look at him. "Alright. I wasn't going to tell you this 'til later. 'After the Reapers are gone' later."

"OK," he said warily. "What's going on? Is this another 'I blacked out on ryncol and flirted with the mountain man' thing or what?"

Kate giggled. "No, nothing like that. I swear, I haven't touched a drop of ryncol in, well, since that night I think."

"So what is it then?"

"I talked to Miranda today. She... told me that during Project Lazarus, they fixed the internal damage from when I got shot when I was on Omega."

Zaeed looked confused momentarily, trying to work out what exactly she meant. Then understanding suddenly dawned on his face and he smiled. "So..."

She nodded.

He raised an eyebrow. "That wasn't your crazy-ass way of telling me that you are right now, right?"

She laughed. "No. God, that's all I need. You're over-protective enough as it is. That will be our... reward... for surviving the Reapers."

Zaeed wound his fingers through her hair, pulled her towards him and pressed his lips to hers in a deep kiss. "Good. You're right, I worry about you enough with this damn war without that. Yet," he added with a wink.

"So you want kids someday?"

"I doubt the universe is ready for a little me or you running around, but yes, I do."

Kate smirked. "Well, the universe is just going to have to learn to get the fuck over it."

* * *

"You're 100% sure the tracker will lead you to the Illusive Man's base?" Hackett asked.

"Miranda has never steered me wrong," Kate said.

He chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes," he said then looked at her soberly. "So you're ready to do this?"

"Hell yes," she said. "Cerberus and the Reapers started this war. Now I'm going to fucking finish it."

"I'll get the fleets ready. Good luck, Katie."

She smiled. "You too, Dad."

The journey through the base was brutal. At every turn, EDI found consoles with information regarding Kate's reconstruction. "Hard to watch" was an understatement, and more than once, Garrus worried that Kate might crack again. He was convinced that the only reason she handled coming back from the dead at all was because Zaeed had been there from the start.

EDI also found a couple of vids detailing her _own_ creation from the rogue AI that Kate, Garrus and Kaidan had destroyed on Luna more than three years ago, as well as the point when the Illusive Man decided to create "Eva Core" to replace her. Kate and Garrus were both glad Kaidan wasn't there to see that one. He was wary enough having EDI in that body.

As they moved through the base, the effects of the battle outside reached them. After they'd left the shuttle bay, Kate had convinced her father that firing on the base's outer defenses wouldn't impede their progress. She was mostly right. They'd only had to dodge falling debris a couple of times. Mostly, they were keeping their eyes peeled for phantoms. They were quick, quiet and, like Kai Leng, were deadly with a sword.

Finally, they ended up in what Kate could only assume was the Illusive Man's office. She recognized the chair he'd always sat in when they talked. She sat in it and suddenly he was in the room with them, in the same way he'd been on Mars and Thessia.

She scoffed at his warning and he disappeared. EDI began searching through his files to find what it was Kai Leng had taken from them on Thessia.

"He warned you not to over-stay your welcome, Shepard." Kate spun around and came face-to-face with Leng.

He swung at her and she ducked just in time. After a moment, the room was filled with Cerberus troops. Kate kept up with Leng as EDI and Garrus fought the rest. Within minutes, the room was filled with Cerberus bodies, Leng's among them.

Kate turned back and sat at a console, looking for more information, while Garrus and EDI did the same on the other side of the room.

Suddenly, Kai Leng's sword came crashing into the console Kate was sitting in front of. She swiftly turned and plunged her Omni-blade deep into the assassin's side.

"That was for Thane, you son of a bitch," she snarled. Leng looked momentarily surprised before he fell to the ground in a heap.

"Kate? Are you OK?" Garrus asked as he and EDI ran to her.

"I'm fine... fine," Kate said as she looked at the place where Leng's sword had sliced through the armor on her right arm. "Just another scar to add to my collection."


	36. Chapter 36

**Beta: pixelatrix  
Thanks for the review :)  
Bioware owns all.**

* * *

This was it. The end. Either the Reapers would be defeated or... Kate didn't want to think what came after the "or," so she focused on the winning, and tried not to worry about Zaeed. He'd left with her father after the Admiral had come aboard the Normandy to give a speech to the troops.

Now she was with Kaidan and James, fighting through the streets of London, trying to get to Anderson and HQ. They took down one giant Reaper only to be nearly overwhelmed by Reaper forces while waiting for extraction. Cortez was... somewhere. He'd radioed back after he'd been shot down trying to get back to them.

The rescue shuttle came just in time. James threw Kate into it and her back hit something soft, softer than the inside of a Kodiak anyway. She turned and looked up to see Anderson grinning at her.

"Welcome to London, Shepard."

Another Reaper down. Kate and her squad had barely survived that one too. Now they were making a break for the beam that would take them up to the Citadel and... only God knew what was up there.

An explosion sent one of the humvees ahead flying back towards them. Anderson tackled Kate to the ground as metal and chunks of concrete rained down on them.

"You OK, Shepard?" he asked when the debris stopped falling.

She gingerly turned over. "I think so. You?"

"Never better."

She looked around. "Where's James and Kaidan?"

"Over here, Lola," James called from a spot 50 feet away where he and Kaidan were leaning against another over-turned humvee. "Alenko's hurt bad. Broken ribs and... I don't think he can keep going."

Kate and Anderson made their way over to them. She called to the Normandy for a quick extraction.

She carefully hugged James and Kaidan as they stood on the ramp into the shuttle bay. "Stay safe and keep Joker in line," she said with a half-hearted smile.

"Don't worry about us," James said. "You just make damn sure you come back, Lola."

She nodded and stepped away as the Normandy flew off again.

"They'll be fine," Anderson said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Come on. We've got to get to that beam."

Half an hour later, Kate was wishing she was anywhere else but on the goddamn Citadel. She didn't even know where she was. All she knew was most of her armor was melted off and she'd been shot in the gut again; she wasn't going to make it. Anderson was dead, shot with her gun. The Illusive Man was dead too, also shot with her gun. He'd tried to take the easy way out, tried to shoot himself in the head. She'd shot the gun from his hand and then emptied the rest of the clip into his chest.

* * *

Hackett was patched in to Kate's comm channel. He'd heard everything with Anderson and the Illusive Man. Now, the Citadel and the Crucible were linked, but-

"Nothing's happening," he said. "It must be something on your end."

Silence.

"Commander?" He looked around the bridge. _Fuck professionalism_, he thought. "Katie? What's going on?"

More silence.

"Katie, talk to me, goddamn it! I need-"

"I don't... I can't see any..." Her voice was weak, but it was definitely her.

A few more moments went by and then suddenly, a beam shot from the Crucible. The Reapers on Earth began to fall and the beam spread through the system.

Everyone on the bridge cheered. Hackett grinned. "You did it, Katie. The Reapers are gone."

Silence again.

His face fell and he panicked. "Goddamn it. Katie, don't do this to me now. You can't die on me again. I can't... I can't lose you again."

"Dad?" He could barely hear her this time. In just the one word, he could hear how much pain she was in.

"Katie? Where are you? I'm coming to get you."

"Dad, I didn't get a chance to say this last time. I love y-" She was cut off again.

"No!" Hackett tried over and over but all he got was more damn silence.


	37. Chapter 37

**Beta: pixelatrix  
Thanks for the review :)  
Bioware owns all.**

* * *

When Kate finally regained consciousness, she knew before opening her eyes who was in the room with her. On one side, her father held one of her hands in both of his. His head must have been on his arm because she could just feel the end of his beard tickling her hand. The fingers of her other hand were tightly entwined with Zaeed's and she could feel the pressure further down the bed where, as was his way, he sat with his feet propped on the edge.

She gently squeezed both of their hands and said quietly, "If I open my eyes and acknowledge that I'm not dead, do you both promise not to yell at me for doing stupid, dangerous shit for at least an hour?"

"No promises" said one; "abso-bloody-lutely not" said the other. Both seemed to realized at the same time what she'd said as Hackett raised his head to look at her and then leaned up to gently kiss her forehead as Zaeed's boots crashed to the floor and he got up to sit on the edge of the bed.

"How do you feel, kitten?" Zaeed asked.

Kate winced as he and Hackett gently helped her sit up more fully against the pillows. "Let me put it this way," she said. "Remember after Aratoht how I said it felt like I'd gotten run over by the ghost of the Mako?"

"Yes..." Zaeed smiled at the memory.

"Well, this time, Wrex and Grunt were driving the fucking thing. How long was I out?" Both men looked thoroughly exhausted, as if neither one had left her bedside since she was brought in, and she had a feeling neither had.

"Five days."

"What... happened?" she asked. "The last thing I remember is getting James and Kaidan to the Normandy and then Anderson and me making a run for the beam."

Her father and Zaeed exchanged a worried look.

The look wasn't lost on Kate. She turned from one man to the other. "What? What's wrong?"

"The good news is the Reapers are gone and the Illusive Man is dead," Hackett said.

"Well obviously the Reapers are gone. Otherwise, I don't think we'd be having this conversation. What's the bad news?" she asked apprehensively.

He hesitated a moment. "Anderson's dead."

Her eyes filled with tears. "Dead? How?"

"I could hear what was going on through your comm channel," Hackett said. "He was shot, by the Illusive Man."

There was a deafening silence that stretched between them for several minutes.

"Fuck," Kate muttered after awhile. "I remember that part now. But... it wasn't the Illusive Man, it was me."

"What was you, Katie?"

She looked down at her lap instead of at her father. "I was the one who shot Anderson. Or at least I was the one holding the gun."

"It wasn't your fault, sweetheart," he said gently. "From what I could hear on the comm, it sounded like the Illusive Man was indoctrinated."

She shook her head. "That doesn't make it better. Whether I was in control of it or not, it was still _my_ finger that pulled the trigger, it was a bullet from _my_ gun that killed him."

* * *

The doctors kept Kate in the hospital for another week. While Zaeed flat-out refused to leave, her father was finally forced to do so by urgent meetings regarding the rebuilding of the galaxy. But he came back as often as he could.

She had a steady stream of other visitors as well. Having crashed on some unknown planet while outrunning the beam from the Crucible, the Normandy finally docked at the Citadel two days after she woke up and she was relieved to see everyone was safe. Surprisingly, the rest of her former crew, those who had been in various parts of London instead of on ships, had also survived and had been among her first visitors.

It was Cortez who _finally_ convinced Zaeed that he needed to get some proper sleep in an actual bed. Not wanting Kate to be left alone while the mercenary was away, the rest of the Normandy crew took shifts sitting with her. When she tried to protest against it, citing that they should be with their families, Joker reminded her that she _was_ family.

A few days after Kate woke up, Miranda came to see her. Above all else, there was one thing that still bothered the Commander: the gunshot to her abdomen. After everything she'd been through, finding out that she could have children had been the one thing she'd clung to in order to get through that final battle, the details of which had all but completely come back to her now. She didn't know what she was going to do, how she was going to tell Zaeed, if that had all been a pipe dream.

Miranda, however, had spoken to Dr. Chakwas, seen the scans of Kate's body from after the battle and reassured her that this time, the gunshot had been much higher. No permanent internal damage had been done. She would still be able to have children. Then Miranda told her the rest of the news: the beam from the Crucible had messed with Kate's cybernetic implants a bit, hence the reason for the over-long hospital stay, including (Miranda was grinning now) the birth control chip. It was no longer functioning.

And now Kate had a whole new problem, one that she wouldn't give up for anything: how to finally break the news to her father that he was going to have to get used to the idea of being a grandfather.


	38. Chapter 38

**Beta: pixelatrix  
Bioware owns all.  
A/N: I hope y'all have enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you to _everyone_ who read, reviewed, favorited and followed this story. I loved you all :)**

* * *

Six weeks after the war, the Normandy was back in action, weeding out any remaining Cerberus holdouts. After a particularly brutal firefight, Kate ended up in the med-bay and Dr. Chakwas had news.

"Shepard, you're pregnant."

Kate fainted.

When she came to, the doctor was standing over her bed looking concerned.

"Not a word to anyone, Karin," the Commander warned.

Dr. Chakwas looked hurt. "Well, I never... Shepard you know..."

"You're good friends with my dad is what I know," Kate said with a chuckle.

"You still haven't told your father that you can have children?"

"No. Haven't figured out _how_, to be honest. Now I'm going to have to tell him both things at once. He may very well die of shock."

The doctor shook her head in disbelief. "Did you at least tell Mr. Massani?"

"Of course. Told him the day Miranda told me, a few weeks ago. How long have _you_ known?"

"Since the day the Illusive Man asked me to join your crew. He knew it would be bloody impossible to keep that kind of knowledge from a doctor, especially one who had known you before."

* * *

Zaeed's birthday was two days after Kate found out she was pregnant. She decided on the perfect way to tell him the news.

"Happy birthday, Z," she said as she sat curled up in his arms on the couch in the Loft. She handed him a box. "We got you a present."

He kissed her neck. "I don't need any other present than you, kitten." He shifted her in his arms so he could look at her face. "Who's we?"

She laughed and kissed him. "Just open the damn box."

He lifted the lid of the large flat leather box and stared at the data pad inside. "What is it?"

"You have to read it, dummy," Kate said as she rolled her eyes. _Men._

She watched his face carefully as he read the test results. After a few moments, she put her hand over his. "Z? Are you-"

He cut her off with a searing kiss.

"So you're happy then?" Kate asked when they finally pulled apart for air.

"Of course I'm goddamn happy, kitten," Zaeed said with a chuckle. "One question. How did this even happen?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? You want me to draw you a diagram or something?"

"Bloody woman," he muttered. "Not that. I mean, I thought you said you had a chip of some sort..."

"Oh, right. Miranda said the Crucible screwed that up along with the cybernetics. That's why I've been having so many problems healing after firefights lately."

"So basically what you're saying is you're mortal again like the rest of us," Zaeed teased.

Kate laughed. "Something like that."

* * *

Days later, Commander Kate Shepard shocked the entire galaxy by announcing that effective immediately, she was retiring from active duty. When asked about the sudden decision, she said simply that she had done all she'd set out to accomplish. It was time for someone else to step into the role of Savior of the Galaxy. Only Zaeed and Dr. Chakwas, both sworn to secrecy, knew the real reason.

And now there was no avoiding it. She was going to have to tell her father, because she knew he wasn't going to buy the story she'd fed the media. She didn't have long to wait. The day after her retirement announcement, Kate was alone in her apartment on the Citadel when the buzzer for the front door sounded. Repeatedly.

"I'm coming," she grumbled. "Hold your goddamn horses."

She looked at the security monitor and went pale. It was her father. _O__K then. Guess I'm telling him __right now_, she thought as she opened the door and plastered a smile on her face. "Hey, Dad. What brings you-"

"When were you planning to tell me, Katie?" he asked as he walked into the apartment.

"Tell you what?" she asked innocently.

He handed her a data pad. "How long have you known?"

It was her entire medical history, except the very last scan Dr. Chakwas had done that had revealed the pregnancy. Kate was going to have to remember to send a huge thank you present to the doc for leaving that bit out.

She looked at her father. "Not as long as you might think. Miranda told me the day after we got back from Sanctuary."

"Does Massani know?"

She nodded.

"So? When were you going to tell me?" he repeated.

"Well, I hadn't planned on the whole 'almost dying at the hands of the Reapers' thing, so I'd planned to tell you right after the war was over."

"That was almost seven weeks ago, Katie!"

"I know and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before now but..." She paused and took a deep breath. "There's one piece that was left out of this history."

"And what would that be?"

"A scan that Dr. Chakwas did a few days ago. Dad, I... I'm pregnant."

Hackett didn't say anything for a full two minutes.

"Dad? Are you OK?"

He shook his head slightly. "Sorry, Katie. I was just... remembering when your mother told me she was pregnant with you."

Kate put her arms around his shoulders and laid her head on his chest. "I wish I could have known her."

He wrapped his arms around her. "Me too, Katie. She would have been as proud of who you've become as I am."

She looked up at him. "So are you happy... _Grandpa_?"

He chuckled as he kissed the top of her head. "Very."


End file.
